kem tahunan 2009

kem tahunan yang amat paling ter xdapat dilupakan

penekanan yg tlh ak buat kt tajuk tu ak rse da ckup tok mnggambarkan betapa bezanya kem tahunan kali ni ngan yg lepas. mmg berbeza dan amat berbeza (in qoutation).
22 hari yg God noes wat, really expressed ma feelings and thoughts. id rather leave this to ma fingers and let em pile out all da things dat i wanta spill.
dlm 22 hari yg sme ak secare xlangsung dpt knal hati budi sorang2 mmbe skuad ak. ak rse kali ney ak dpt describe sorang2 ngan lebih detail and soulful. dan dlm mse yg sme jgk ak dpt lupekan sket mslah ak kt dlm kuliah ney. dpt relax lbeyh sket dan ak da mule rasai nikmat activities yg lasak ney. rse len bile diri ini dpt crawl ngan jayanye dibwh peluru GPMG yg hidup lagi bleyh mmbunuh, mnembak M16 kt lapang sasar ngan 4 gaya sebenar seorang satria, turun abseiling 5 tingkat dan mara serta serangan cam btol2 berperang.

kalo org yg xd hati askar (kononnyer) cam ak ney mungkin feelingless dgr psl sumer ney. tp overall ak enjoy sampai ari yg terakhir. dlm 22 hari 2 jgk la ak dapat wat comparison antara batch 17 ngan 18 yg kononnyer sorang bajet matang dan sorang bajet professional.in practice, dua dua same j. ckp j lbeyh. tp papepon respect maseh ade tok kdua dua skuad yg zahir dan batinnye lebih senior dari ak. majulah batch 17 dan 18.

tp khas tok batch ak, ak nk suarekan kt sini; please act like a mature human being. haf feelings and thoughts. think b4 u act. look b4 u leep. silence speaks da truth when u choose to be in da silence. harap2 la korang paham. ape yg dapat ak tgk sepanjang kem ney, ak nmpak sorang2 dgn lebih dlm. just like i was diving into y'all and kept reaping da mask dat haf been covered u all inside. form da bottom i noe dat u are not (sometimes) da person dat u were appear to be. just like me. i do play hide and seek with ma real self sometimes. but not all da time. yet i noe when to and why to. so for those whom might think dat they were played with their ownself, feel free to cease and seal it.

xoxo
still luv yall like always

panorama nowadays

bile dgr lagu britney overprotected, ak cam kesian gak ngan naseb dy selaku penyanyi yg teramat la famous. dari bait2 lirik dy, jelas skali yg dy agk merana ngan idop dy yg bley diklasifikasikan sbg terlalu terkongkong atw dlm englishnyer overprotected. ps2 kalo korang dgr lagu hotel carlifornia which is sung by eagles, lagu 2 pon cam kesian kt dyowg sbb da msk hotel 2 ps2 xdpt kua. huahua...tp literally meaning j la. lgu 2 sbnarnye ade mksud tersirat. dalam gak mksudnyer, kalo tenggelam maunyer xmo timbul. mengikut majalah rock the world (jilid yg keberape ak xingat) ade citer psl lagu 2. ikt citer2 dari mulut k mulut, lagu 2 actually psl ajaran setan. ak pon xtaw la dari mne timbulnyer mitos 2 tp kalo pokok da begiyang xkan xd angin tiup kn? mengikut mitos, lagu 2 agk berhantu sbb ade bait2 lirik dy yang dikatekan seolah2 memuja dan memuji setan. kire cam pro-SATAN la grup ney. ak mls nk kte byk psl fakta sbnar ak da lupe. tp bkn psl 2 yg ak nk cakap kt ruangan ak ney. ak nk ckp psl meaning yg ingin disampaikan oleh grup eagles ney menerusi lagu hotel carlifornia 2. sbnarye, hotel carlifornia 2 mnggambarkan hidup serta realiti sebenar dunia hiburan. hotel carlifornia 2 blh check in sje tp ade msalah ble nk check out. cam dlm lirik dy "u can check out anytime u like but u can never leave" cam seram, tp 2 la lirik dy.cam dlm dunia hiburan ney, kte bley msk bile2 mse kite nk, ble gak isytiharkan diri kite da bersara dari bidang hiburan, walaupon sebenarnye tidak. sbb once kite da msk dlm dunia 2, kite bkn senangnye nk kua. cam dlm lagu overprotected gak, britney asek2 ckp yg dunia dy agk susah psl dy kne protect dalam segala perkara termasukla ble dy nk suarakan pendapat dy sendiri. ak rse yg psl 2 gak la dy jdi agk bengong smpai sanggup botakkan rambut dy. tp ak rse she deserve some respect la from society sbb da hidup cam2 pon still lg bley kuakan album yg meletop wlawpon sore dy xbape sdp sgt tok nyanyi (harap badan j). tp, ape yg ak nk tegakkan dan katekan kt sini adelah sbg datu pesanan kpd rakyat malaysia umumnye dan remaje baye2 ak khususnye dan remaje baye ak yg beragama islam lagi khususnye. bkn ak nk ckp yg hiburan, seni2 sume mnde ney xelok, smpai xdpt cium bau syurga, tp sekadar tok peringatan sbb ak da nmpak mnde yg xpatut jadi dlm masyarakat da terjadi. sekarang, nowadays, ak lihat makin ramai berlumba2 nk jadi artis. tgk ujibakat ONE IN A MILLION pon ckop. org yg dtg bertandang nk cube naseb pon mengalahkan ribuaan yg hadir mase rumah terbuka PM kite r2. ps2 kalo mak bapak dyowg, ble anak xdpt, tros nanges2 cam anak dyowg fail nk dpt second lower class degree.... aiysh....ak tgk pon geleng kpla. satu mnde yg ak rse xptt ade dlm msyarakat kite skang ialah ritual terlalu memuje muzik sori kalo ak tlh gune perkataan yg xsesuai, tp ak rse ney la perkataan yg ssuai sbb ak da xtw nk gne pkataan ape. nk kte msia ney bgs psl rmai msk universiti pon xbley gak sbb byk jasad j yg msk. bkn bwk hati dan perasaan skali. lagi stu, knape msia

i wont do it again~sickening reason~iamnotannoyed

i still can remember dat nite. i couldnt control ma anger and i was extremely furious at ma younger sister. i stabbed her chest, uncountably. i was like in da kinda of trance and i didnt really know on wat i was doing. ma belief dat shes not herself jus kept me stabbing her until she has running all her voices screaming over me. i felt nothing through out all her scream. i felt no fear and all i want was just to let dat evil thing get out from ma sis body. she suffered and i can tell. but nobody believes in me and i was just kept ma faith to maself. i stopped. i was panicked when she was stoned-still, her eyes were like glared towards me screaming for ma mercy and all dat i noe dat ma sis was no longer rite there, and i did send her to heaven. i bet she was happy. i helped her been thru dat devilish monster which has been parasite, eating ma sis from da inside.

i thought it was all over. i was thrilled with ma victory. bon voyage to dat evil monster. as i decended da only staircase in ma house, i heard ma mom yelled ma name from da behind. she claimed dat i was crazy. she said dat killed ma sis. i turned around, and our eyes met. at dat tyme, i saw something in her eyes. 'oh no!!' i screamed and ran to her. she was afraid seeing me running towards her wif da stained blade on ma hand. she tried to run, but i was too fast. i gave her a slit on her throat. she prayed for ma mercy too. i noe dat i could not save her. i said to her clearly dat she is not the person she thinks she is. i saw da same monster inside her. i realized dat da same monster which has possessed ma sister was in ma mom too. i dun wan da same thing to happen twice. so i gave da same punishment to her. i ended her misery wif one bullet dat went rite thru her cold heart. i sent ma mom too, to heaven. i was hoping dat she will be happy there.

da gun dat i was holding was not mine. i got it from ma dads vault. yet, i still couldnt find ma dad. i hope dat he would be there, witnessing ma victory against those evil monster which has killed ma mom and ma sis. and da next thing i knew was i got awake in a room filled wif a comfortable cushion. it has all dis softest cushion around da room.

p/s : dis is only a fiction. jus only an imaginary world dat i created and will only remain as imaginary. i have faith, and i will keep to ma faith.

rose from da shadow

grew from within

until me maself out

i like i sing dis rhyme

ma mistakes trapt me in its shadow

i like to claim dat i would sink

till da day has come

these incitations unbind me

missory letter

luv da dark

hate da lite

lies in ma place

waitin 4 ma time

heaven here i go

hell waits for me no

ma wounds wont heal

since ma blood running still

ocean trades me in

i will not give in

ma time will come

ill wait 4 it.....

skuad batch 19

membe2 palapes ak batch 19....

ak dedicated kn kt sini sbb ak rse cam nk men-dedicate....
tok sumer mmbe2 palap ak....
yeah trimala..


(ak stat ikut urutan blek kt k11 neyh)(no offence tw!)

1 aina ~ koperal kte
2 azie ~ kak lans
3 dayah ~ umate ak, merangkap lans jgak serta IC skuad skuba
4 shida ~ yg ske letak moto sesuke ati dy, mnjmput pengetua tok saman EGO putih dy
5 shima ~ dangdut sakan bershame2 mmbe awam dy
6 amal ~ mata cam kucing dy yg slalu melepas dlm toilet tuh...
7 anisah ~ anak mami kite...huhu
8 ana ~ ske senyap, tp kalo bkk mulot cam da xreti tutop...adeyh
9 nur ~ ske panggil ak 'short shem' pelat neyh
10 shay ~ ak rse layak digelar miss batch 19 neyh...she deserve meyh...
11 kak sha ~ ak rse kalo adek dy dpt utm, bley kot mneruskan legasi accident moto..
12 tini ~ kak lans kte. tp ak pnggil dy mak..hehe
13 jannah ~ otai beb!! stap sayang...jgn men2
14 mun ~ ney pon kesayangan stap neyh...skandal sma bulu...perghhh
15 farah ~ speechless....hehe...ak xbley tulis kt sini...
16 ifa ~ kembar ak neyh...shayang kmba!!!
17 shanim ~ korea celop...
18 ayu ~ penah kkdang bajet ayu...ces..
19 kak ton ~ stiap slase dtg blek ak tok print..lab dy beb
20 rozad ~ sebaye ngan ak, mude sket dri ak. tp malangnye dy lbeyh matang beb dri ak...
21 amalina ~ ayat trademark 'BENCI! XSUKE!'
22 syuk ~ lgi stu stok korea celop..tp mke sket2 cam korea la..hehe
23 rai ~ bkn aishwarya rai, ney raifana...mmbe sme2 ske lagu te amo...huhu
24 fad ~ wat can i describe bout dis gal is, she is soo like drama quwien..owh my...
25 amnah ~ membe lwn2 ak...share minat sme dlm fighting reasons...
26 yaya ~ ckp dlm 1 nada, tp byk mksd tersirat..perghhhh
27 kak long ~ ape yg mmpu ak katekan, mmg layak dipanggil kak long...
28 nina ~ kak lans kite...ade chance jd puan plg bek dlm peringkat...perghhhh...idop nina
29 bana ~ ak rse dy plg mntap beb dlm skuad pkw...front support 1 tgn neyh!
30 shima ~ shima chemor....sbut psl aym penyek, dy mmg ahli sarjana la...
31 rozzi ~ senior fac ak...sabahan...ske kaler merah...ckp kt ak mse ble dy penah pkai bju kaler pink ble pg kls?
32 che pah ~ pemilik keta WED ape nombo tah, ak slalu tumpang mse dloo2
33 mira ~ demure person, but i like her alott....
34 din koperal ~ xMTD, mgkin wat dy dpt rank kowt
35 suhaizie ~ bwk kete xingt dunia sarjan kte neyh!
36 isma ~ ade org pggil rattatoulie.. L.U.P.K.L.A.S.N.D.I.R.I
37 krol ~ klsmate aero ak....mmg merangkap dreba ak la, di mase2 ak dlm kesusahan
38 napi ~ lans, penghulu 4kas, dak marin, dak meki, and da list just go on and on
39 mat hussien ~ famous sejak nek ats pntas...hehe...dak meki...hussien2..
40 hakim ~ mmbe yg setinggi ngan usien neyh...dak meki gak...
41 faiz klantan ~ mamat romeo dlm skuad...ak xtaw bpe pkw da kne ayat ngan dy...dak meki
42 amang ~ berpengetahuan tinggi dlm selok belok peperangan...ntah2 dy penah dok zmn perang x?? dak meki
43 faiz mok ~ pndiam ala2 hanazawa rui....cool gle neyh....dak meki
44 haris ~ dy ney pon stok senyap gak...so ak xtaw byk la psl dy...nek pntas gak ngan hussien r2...dak meki
45 zaki ~ mkwe dy mmbe bek ak...bdk xbaligh lg..hahaha
46 am ~ terkenal ngan gen 2 dy..mmg gmpak beb...
47 faiz tembok ~ mmbe skolah dayah...pndai nyanyi....tp perangai xbleyh blah...
48 lan ~ org pnggil dy zizan, perwatakan seakan2 zizan..bley apply raja lawak ney
49 mustakim ~ ak rse kalo dy pkai 2dung mmg kompem cantik....
50 fikri ~ ngan nme deman, ak rse cam da lupe nme tol dy...nme bru plak muntah..
51 abu ~ ala2 pengganti chin peng..layak neyh....
52 muzafar ~ org pnggil moja, dimple dy dlm gle...mmbe skolah lme dayah gak..
53 amin ~ ak xknal sgt dy, so xreti describe....
54 hafiz ~ ak rse dy slalu gle jd imam dlm solat...
55 shahir ~ asl pulau tioman...family ade chalet....perghhh
56 khalid ~ ade bakat memimpin
57 faris ~ kemba khalid, perangai len...hahaha
58 aziz ~ mmbe sehidup semati krol neyh..
59 syafiq ~ ak slalu keliru dy ney ngan hafiz...dok sblah ak mse CIW...
60 zulfadli ~ org pnggil os, ak xtaw npe....accident r2, so xdtg training mse tawliah
61 zulhelmi ~ mmbe kos dayah...stu section mse kem thnn r2..
62 hairi ~ pk yg ak plg respek dlm skuad...
63 amar ~ ak xtekejut dy dpt koperal..mmg layak pon...
64 talib ~ ak xknal jgk ngan dy ney, so xtw ape nk 2lis...
65 arief ~ dak 4kas...mntap sbb dak petrol....plg ske wat bising..
66 amir ~ personality yg sungguh berbeza ngan staf amir
67 sazrin ~ asl n9, org pnggil jang.....
68 ohio ~ ak da lupe plak nme btol dy, stu kos ngan nina...
69 azman ~ mmbe kiwi kasut ak mse kem tahunan dloo...
70 man toba ~ yg ak tw, dy ney bising, ps2 handwriting cantek cam pompuan....
71 din ~ terkenal ngan gelaran bulu...cam anak mami, tp asl ganu...dunno y...
72 adhwa ~ plg mantap dlm mnde2 grafiq2 neyh...
73 piee ~ kalo sbut nme dy msti ak ingat dwet...adeyh...
74


penat ak pk 1 mlm tok cari spe org yg k 74 neyh....tnpa mnggunakan akal yg panjang ney ak pon wat kputusan yg ak lupe...tp mmg pndek akal tol, sbb ak la org yg k74 neyh...

BAHASA MELAYU

kadang2 rse amat bersalah ble ak ckp omputih cam da xreti ckp melayu. malu ak ble pegang title nme melayu tp xreti ckp melayu. muke cam melayu, kulit jgn ckp la. tp ble tibe part bercakap, Ya Allah, abh berterabur melayu-nye. biarpun nmpak cam menyindir tp inilah realiti. mmg betul kata pujangga, ilmu itu penting. bahasa asing pon termasuk dalam ilmu juga. dan, ya, bahasa asing pon penting bile dikaitkan dengan ilmu. namun teruk sangat ke kita umat malaysia khasnya melayu apabila terlalu mengagungkan bahasa asing sampai kite lupe yang kite pon ade bahasa sendiri??

aku rasekan diri aku seakan-akan terpanggil menulis apabila aku nmpak yg isu berkaitan bahasa ibunda kita ini seperti sudah memuncak, menggunung dan membukit. baru2 ni, banyak jugak gerakan yang muncul menentang pengajaran matematik dan sains dalam bahasa inggeris. tp ak terpikir, knape baru sekarang??? kenape x dlu2 sebelum mereke memansuhkan pengajaran sains dan matematik dalam bahasa melayu??

ak, sebagai pelajar, yang terpilih untuk menjadi antara pelajar pertama yang belajar sains dan matematik dalam bahasa inggeris rase terpanggil untuk mmberi komen. ak masih ingat lagi, tahap bahasa inggeris ak cukup rendah mase ak menduduki UPSR. malah, keputusan inggeris ak hanya mencatatkan huruf 'B' sahaja jika dibandingkan dengan rakan2 sekelasku. tp ak buat dekk saje. ak positif lagi mase 2. sbb ak tahu, hidup ni sebenarnya adelah proses pembelajaran. tp ak tw, bile naik tingkatan 1, ak harus belajar subjek2 kritikal ini dalam bahasa inggeris. ak redhakan saje.

naik saje tingkatan satu, ak hadapi masalah nk confront ngan subjek2 kritikal tahap ICU 2. ak mula nmpak kepentingan bahasa inggeris tu. mase tu, hanya Allah saje tau perasaan hamba-Nya ini menghadapi subjek2 tu. nk mintak tolong mak ayah ak, agak mustahil sbb mereka pon bukannye terdiri daripada org yang 'sangat' terpelajar. namun, mereka hanya ibu bapa golongan sederhana yang berjaya melahirkan manusia yang taw berfikir ini. masa tu, hanya dengan berbekalkan guru2 SMKBTR yang berdedikasi, rakan2 yang sangat membantu serta semangat diri yang xpernah luntur, ak mmpu mencapai tahap penguasaan bahasa inggeris yang bagus untuk tahap umur ak pada masa itu. ak berjaya menguasai bahasa inggeris semata-mata, malah sekaligus subjek2 kritikal ini. malah, tahun pertama PMR dijalankan dalam bahasa inggeris, ak berjaya memperoleh keputusan yang bagus dan mampu untuk ak meng'apply' sekolah berasrama penuh yang terunggul di malaysia ini.

Alhamdulillah, ak berjaya masuk dalam rangkaian sekolah berasrama penuh itu walaupun pada mulanye ak hampir berputus asa kerana panggilan kemasukan ke rangkaian sekolah ini lambat berbanding panggilan kemasukan sekolah2 berprestij yang lain. dalam jangka masa persekolahan ak di situ pun ak berhempas pulas utuk meningkatkan tahap penguasaan bahasa inggeris ak disamping bergaul dengan rakan2 yang lain, mereka yang jauh lebih berperstij dari isi ilmu dan isi poket.dan di sanalah ak berdepan dengan realiti di atas. anak2 melayu yang begitu bermegah dengan bahasa inggeris yang dikuasai mereka. ak hanya mampu menghadapi realiti disamping menoleh ke arah imaginasi ak, dimana anak2 melayu masih bersifat seperti melayu.

hidup di alam realiti yang agak suram berbanding imaginasi ak itu berakhir dengan jayanye apabila SPM dapat ak habiskan dengan cemerlangnya. malah ak berjaya terpilih untuk masuk ke sebuah IPT terkemuka di Malaysia sejurus selepas ak tamatkan tingkatan 5 ak. 5 tahun ak habiskan masa belajarku dalam bahasa asing untuk 2 subjek kritikal ini ak nampak natijahnya dengan jelas.pro dan kontra yang begitu jelas. bagi ak, malaysia masih kelabu dengan misi masa depan untuk belia nya.

hal ini jelas kerana jika malaysia mahukan pelajarnya menjadi global student, jadi apa salahnya jika pengajaran dalam bahasa inggeris diteruskan?? malah, realiti (lagi sekali) menunjukkan bahawa kenape jika bahasa melayu ingin dikekalkan tetapi konsep pengajaran di universiti2 tempatan masih berorientasikan bahasa inggeris?? perjelaskan saya hal ini!.


tetapi jika bahasa melayu ingin terus dikekalkan, kenapa malaysia tidak mencontohi konsep jepun?? kenapa dan mengapa malaysia tidak mengasimilasikan konsep mereka ini dalam budaya masayarakt melayu?? dengan konsep jepun yang diamalkan sekarang, jepun mampu mencapai tahap global dan menembusi pasaran antarabangsa dengan jayanya. kegemilangan jepun dalam zaman moden ini mengembalikan ingatan ak ke zaman kesultanan melayu melaka dahulu kala. zaman itu, bahasa inggeris xd org pandang pun malah bahasa melayu sudah menjangkau ke lingua franca. mase tu, org datang melaka cakap bahasa kita bukan macam sekarang, org datang melaka tp kite cakap bahasa dia. dunia dah terbalik agaknya. mana hilangnya rasa hormat pelancong pada tuan rumah sampai xcuba pon nk ckp bhsa kita? atau org melayu ni bersopan sangat sampai xmahu melukakan hati pelancong dan sehingga sanggup untuk tunduk dengan kehendak pelancong dalam every perkara. ini dalam soal pelancong, yang masuk negara kita Malaysia dengan halal. tp macam mana pula dengan mereka yang masuk dengan haram?? segelintir mereka yang masuk secara haram ini betul2 'vexing'kan hati ak serta kami rakyat malaysia. jelas sekali sesekali rakyat malaysia begitu terpengaruh dengan tv sehinggakan dengan mereka pun kita tunduk dalam berbahasa ibunda mereka. di situ jelas tertunjuk, di mana letakknya bahasa melayu??

jawab la soalan saya ini.......

WARKAH TOK KORANG

mungkin ak ssh nk gambakn dgn kata2..
mungkin dyorg mmg penah sakitkan ati ak,
dan dlm pada mse yg sme jgk wat ak gmbira...

tp ade stu mnde yg ingin ak sampaikn,
walau ape pon tjadi,
korang mmg ttp mmbe ak smpai ble2...

ak nk hati yg enam ney mnjadi satu...



ak rindu korang sgt2....


(wlwpon ak tw korang mungkin xkan bace, tp ak nk display gak)(sbb ape yg ade kt dlm ati ak ney xdpt ak nk utter ngan words)

130709 2206 122MA1K11

ADIWIRA

mungkin ak agk gile kalo ak nk citer psl diri ak dlm catatan ney. kalo x gile pon agk plik r sbb jdikn diri sbg watak utama dlm fantasi ciptaan sndiri (tp kalo da xd org len nk wat better wat sndiri)

ak rse sjak kbelakangan ney ak da byk terpengaruh ngan dunia komik ngan citer2 ala superheroin...kalo dak2 laki rmai berangan nk jd hero atw super2hero mse kck2 dloo, ak lak kompem la nk jd superheroin...

mmg dlm dunia kanak2 ak tv adalah dunia ak...ak tgk jetman, ultraman, ngan power rangers ak tol2 nk jd cam dyowg...lwn org jhat ngan tendang2 pastu tumbuk2..smpai terbawak2 dlm pergaduhan ak ngan adek ak...kalo dak pompuan besenyer gado tarik2 rmbut, ak ngan adek ak x...kteowg tarik2 bju, tendang2 kaki ps2 tumbuk2 muke smpai mulut ak penah berdarah...hehe..2 mse dlu la...

tp ak mmg xnk dream ak tok jd superheroin 2 berkubur takat 2 je...seingat ak sumer hero2 msti tw camne nk berlawan ps2 bertumbuk, so ak pon join la silat..ngan niat psney ley r ak jd cam pendekar zaman melayu dloo....ble bkk langkah org kmpung sumer takut...hehe...

blaja xsmpai mne pon..tp kakitgn pnyer la alert kalo ade org pukul...

tp kan kalo korang pasan, sumer hero2 msti tw bwk kete atw moto..yg pntingnyer pickup thing yg dyorg bwk msti smart...contohnyer citer dark angel, jessica alba jd max dlm citer 2, dy pkai kawasaki ninja...perghhh mmg smat..da la kaler hitam.....so ak mse nk g klas bwk beskal pasan la cam max dlm citer 2...tp xbley nk bwk kmane gak sgt...sbb asl ak nmpak bukit (lagi2 bukit kt k11 2) kompem2 ak turun ps2 tolak...alasan ; nk kwatkn kaki dan tgn...

tp stelah skian lme ak brangan nk jd cam dark angel a.k.a max guavara ak pon mule nmpak reality yg lies ahead... max 2 bkn nyer human being at all pon...dlm citer 2 dy di describekn sbg transgenic iaitu mutant...dna dy da diubah tok mnjadi human weapon...mmg be born to be soldier la...2 la bezanyer ak ngan watak idaman ak 2....

itu citer psl dark angel...tp lps ak da cam ter-attached ngan gokusen, ak rse gak cam nk jdik yankumi a.k.a yamaguchi kumiko @ oujo @ 3D homeroom teacher...citer 2 whirl-whilling around yankumi which is da granddaughter of da famous and da most 'berpengaruh' yakuza family in tokyo dat tyme....however, she has chose her path in becoming a teacher..apparently, her fes task (she be transfered) to da most potentially problematic school and happened to handle dis bunch of 'trash' (people call em dat)...however, she managed to train em to be human (the worthwhile one)... and she did it three times (since theres 3 gokusens)...

rse cam nk jd yankumi sbb dy ade 2 perwatakan....bkn senang nk carry 2 oneself dlm 1 body...tp dy managed to do dat..infact she does....tp kalo perkare nyer di kaitkan ngan realiti, ak mungkin xnmpak di mane letaknyer kesasihan sumer tu bleyh berlaku.....setaw ak bkn senang nk jmpe cikgu2 cam 2...yg penuh ngan ke-passionate-an tok ngajar...so far, cikgu2 yg ak jmpe hnye akn nmpk murid2 dy nyer pontential tok jd org yg berjaya dlm studies tp bkn org yg berjaya tok jd manusia....tp bkn sumer cikgu cam 2....cikgu2 ak kt mktb ngan skolah lme ak alhamdulillah xcam2....alhamdulillah dyowg pndang ak dri sumer segi...pd ak, walawpon yankumi 2 sorang cikgu bese yg gred dy xsetinggi mne (xtaw jepun classified rank tok guru camne), tp dy tlah berjaya tok jdikan murid2 dy sbg manusia....mmg ex-students dy bkn la org2 besar dlm ssbuah organisation, tp hati mereka sungghu dan amatlah besar dlm ssbuah masyarakat....dan itulah yg kite sumer nk...build inside and outside.....

DARN BARN SITUATION

im tired living in two situation. fes i have to hear from one side story and then another. keep comparing it and try to make a peace between these two side. such a bad bussiness. but, its only a myth dat i woulda make a peace between two different world which are having such cold war, 'IMPOSSIBLE'.....

sometimes, i do haf a thought bout it, but i was just too scared to make a fes move. i was afraid of da changes dat might resulted from ma silly moved. if i make a wrong step, then, im doomed. such darn busted. bakayaro.

but, if i just wait for da miracle to come and save da world, i was just like living in home-fairy-world which everything is changes by magic. i do believe in magic? hell no!!!

so, for da time being i think i just need to stick to ma status quo. just anything dat relevant to these frenship, i will treasure it. i will, do something to make this so-called cold war stop and try to make peace between these two side.

it's getting harder and harder to breathe in this such tiny room. it's soo closely-packed and i dun haf any space 4 maself to lean to. im getting sick when i need to be there, hearing dis side badmouthed to da other side. and i am pretty sho dat dey do feel dat too, if they are human physcologically and biologically.

TIRED OF BEING A LOSER

recently, i feel like im playing wif ma ownself, duelling wif ma feelings and be around da bush wif ma thoughts.....

kinda annoying feelings and thoughts but i couldnt find a cure for dis almighty problem.....eventhough it seems like A problem, but sometimes it burdened me like PROBLEMS.....

i feel like i still crawling in ma path, searching 4 da reasons why am i ended up like dis, however, nothing turns up at the end of da tunnel.....

hectic when u haf 2 fight wif ur own feelings and thoughts...jus like having a fight wif undefeatable enemy which is happened 2 be ur allies....

although once id be recognized as a winner, won everything in ma life, but dis tyme i declare ma lost....feel like im losing maself in da ashes.....

nota dari kolej 11

nota dari kolej 11

ini bkn main2 atwpon olok2....
mende ney blaku kt kteowg mse tlibat tok pomotion mse mhs bru2 ney....
ak amat minat tok citekan kt sumer member2 ak yg berade kt lua sne, sbb perkare cam ney xpenah sbelum ney blaku kt ak...

citernyer bermule mse pomotion da abh. pomotion 2 berlangsung 2 hari j...sumer pameran diwat kt N24...ak xtw ade bape byk badan dlm utm yg tlibat, tp pastinyer ade la palap darat, laut ngan suksis....

lps dak shift ptg abh (tok hari kdua)(ak la 2), kteowg xdpt pape arahan tok bgerak kmane2 kolej mlm 2 slain arahan tok dtg mkn mlm free, dyowg ckp stap blanje mkn kfc. ok la 2, mkn free...

mlm dtg cam bese j, tok mkn. abh mkn ttbe senior g bkk lak citer keliwon....ak akui citer 2 agk klise tp ckop tok wat ak berawas ape yg ade kt blakang ak....da la ak dok blakang skali ngan ifa, dayah ngan shima mse 2....pstu lmpu dlm mess 2 plak dyowg tutop...adeyh, haram tol...geram gak la ak....tp mse 2 bajet cam xtkut j....

kteowg wat cadangan nk g midnite muvee lps abh keje 2...so lps dpt blk kteowg sumer siap2 nk g cs...wlwpon kteowg tw tket mngkin xd, tp everybody insisted wanna get a fresh air...ces....

kteowg g nek van dayah, dy bwk...mmg mantap la...12 sumernyer....xtw camne 5 dpn 5 blakang...campo dayah ngan ifa yg kt seat driver ngan driver....

smpai cs, malangnyer tiket xd...lbih malang lg apabila mamat2 yg dok keje metro parking mlm 2 tdgr lak sore dayah yg kuat mngatekan 'TUTOP!'....abh kne anjing ngan dyowg....panas j rse...shiak lorh...

ps2 troskn nk k plan kdua....mkn steamboat kt area jb 2....tp dlm perjlnn ade mnde yg lbih mnarik yg ak nk citer gak....

nk dijadikan citer, dayah ikt jln shortcut bru...elok2 mse dy amk simpang tok shortcut 2, ttbe kete enjin mati, dan kebetulan gak mse 2 lmpu van tol2 arah kt mnde2 putih....ak tgk tol2...berderaw darah ak mse 2...dayah lalu kubo weyh...adeyh...mse 2, ak ngan mmbe2 ak yg len just bce ayat2 lazim dan xluper sedekah alfatihah j kt sumer ahli kubor....

tp pe yg nk highlite, mse dayah lalu area kubo 2, van yg dy bwk pelan gle...sgt2 la pelan...ak riso kalo enjin mati atw xpon nmpak pape k...tp mse 2, suasana van yg riuh rendah gle td tros jd senyap ssenyap kubo 2....kteowg sumer psrah j....

lps g kubo, kteowg pon mkn la steamboat kenyang2 ngan amk gmba byk2 kt menare jam 2...mse 2, kteowg cam behave sket, yela, kang dayah bwk g kubo lg....

lps mkn steamboat kteowg g plak la mcD kt utm 2...bli sket tok syarat ps2 sumer bantai tdo kt dlm van....

ble da kol 5 kteowg pon decide nk msk utm...da nk smpai ma1 ney ttb ayu la plak wat lawak. dy ckp 'jom fiktik kt cookhowse'....dayah pon ckp la 'tol ae' ps2 dy tros amk turn g cookhowse tp tros nek balai cerap... kteowg yg dlm van ney da 'ah sudah'...ade2 j dayah ney...

nek plak balai cerap smpai suboh...ble dgr azan suboh sumer decided nk turon...so tron la dan tros blk blek.....

even mende yg dayah wat sumer 2 gle tp ak agk setuju la....cam ayah ak ckp, kalo kua ngan kwn2 jgn gmbire2 sgt....so pape pon kne beringat la....






p/s: mse dayah bwk msk area kubo 2 jam tepat2 kul 12 tgh mlm. ps2 ri2 mlm jumaat...dan mse nk nek balai cerap 2, ramai admit perjlanan agk lme tok nek....

lyfe

it's been a long tyme since ma last post...
so 2day (since i've got tyme), i wanna write a little...
ive jus wanna mention bout lyfe and wat lies in it....u noe, 4 me, lyfe is just like a bottle...i prefered da holes one, cause once u fill it, it wont get full....so u need to fill it and keep filling it....da journey dat we haf been thru, they are all wat-we-can-called experiences...experience or experiences jus like our teacher...they taught us so much bout lyfe...like ma fren said, our lyfe is all bout journey, and those journeys provide da greatest scenery of em all....yeah they are, really are...and ive seen em all....

syg meki!!!

i jus wanna say dat

I REALLY LUV AERO LADIES!!!


LUV EM SOOOOO MUCH...

WIFOUT EM I DUN THINK DAT I CAN MADE UP UNTIL HERE...

adaptation

ak ngaku agk ske la ngan khidupan skang...secare x langsung ak bley adapt sket2....
ak da bley crik mse tok wat repot ngan g tolong2 kt palap.....

even pd mlenyer ak penat nanges ngan mmberontak ngan diri, tp ak da bley adapt da....


hehhe....

keputusan

tok keputusan

futsal..UTM 9
bola jaring...UTM 2
kawad...UTM 1
rempuh halangan...UTM 1
rentas desa...UTM 1

u len2 ckp kteowg men tipu la mcm2 lg la.....tp ape ak peduli, yg penting ak mmg nmpak yg senior UTM mmg mantap!!!!!

dyowg takat bwk air monkey rat blk j...HUHUHU

mantap gle senior ak owh!!!!

mse mle2 ak msk palap ney, ak mmg xbpe msk sgt ngan sumer mende2 yg ade....tp enjoy nyer psl, ak scare x langsung rse cam sumer2 ney family ak....

ak rse ade hikmah jgk pentwliahan kali ney dyowg wat kt utm.....even, dak2 junior penat wat fiktik yg xabh2 kt merate2 tmpt yg ak xtw, tp kteowg ttp doakan senior kteowg....
ak ngaku la, pd awalnyer ak bkn nyer jnis org yg ske nk hormat2 org yg ak xknal ney, tp da lme2 ak dpt rse sket yg perasaan hormat yg ade kt dlm diri ak dloo da b2ka jd hormat secare ikhlas....

dlm pentwlihan neyh jgk la ak nmpk yg senior, inter ngan junior mmg bley bgabung.....bkn tok nk jge nme utm sje, tp nk jge nme wataniah darat yg kteowg carry......

dan secare xlangsung jgk, ak da jd teramat enjoy ngan ape tugas yg dyowg bg kt ak....ak xkesah la dpt keje fiktik kt angkase k atw lap pdg kawad, jjni perkare 2 dpt mnimbulkan semangat satu skuad kteowg.....

dan dlm ps mse yg sme gak, ak bdoa yg skuad ney akn tros bersatu sbb jln yg kteowg nk rempuh panajng lg...kalo xd semangat setiakawan dri skang, ak rse payah nk carry nme senior yg mantap ble kteowg nk senior nt...

huhu
papepon,
HIDUP UNI.TEK.MA

stuck up in dis situation...

td mse ak ade byk mse nk mnulis ak xmnulis la plak, tp skang ble ak da ade mood, mse plak la yg xbyk...

ttbe mood ak cam xd..
mls gle nk wat mende cilake neyh...
mls nk tgk org wat presentation ngan mls nk dgr presentation...
asl??
2 la yg kte nk tw knape....

blk ney da la nk kne repot diri tok palap, ps2 nk kne wat keje sket...adeyh...
mls

tp kalo ak xbwat, mampos ak sabo stu skuad....xadil 2 bg sumer2 mmbe ak yg bhempas pulas tok pntwliahan kali ney....

tp ble ak tnye diri ak blk npe ak g, ak mite b xbley jwb lg tok mse skang....adeyh...
tp asl ae ak folow mmbe2 meki yg ak bley ckp cam (bek ak xyah sebut)?

ak ikt sbb ak rse ak rndu ngan palap things sumer 2 sbb ak mmg rndu...yep..mmg ak rndu...

ak rndu nk pkai bju loreng 2 hari2 ps2 lari jauh2 smpai penat...tp kn, dlm pd mse yg sme ak pon xnk sgt join...tp ak join gak....akhirnyer ak enjoy hingga smpai k stu thp ak da bosan.....

tp ak bley admit kt diri ak yg ak bosan, sbb ak yg pilih jln neyh....

tp ak nk ckp gak, ak da stat nek bosan ngan sumer mslh yg dtg, ps2 xpegi2.....

mngkin DIA tw ape yg trbaik tok ak, cumer ak blom nmpk j...
tp situasi ney mmg da mmpu mnguji thp setiakawan dan percaye kpd diri...

tp secare xlangsung, ak da mle percaye kt diri, makin berani dan ak nk tros idop...

membe...

mmg ssh kalo mse kte ssh tp xd org tolong
tp lg ssh kalo yg xtolong 2 mmbe sndiri..

dlm kes ak, dyowg tolong...
tp ak xrse cam tolong...
sbb ape?
ak pon xtw...

tp ksimpulannyer, ak kne la blaja la nk kenal dunia neyh...
bak kte stap ak, bkn senang nk jd senang....
tp ble da senang ssh plak nk blaja idop ssh...

so ak rse xsalah kalo ak sshkn idop ak skang,
sbb ak dpt tgk yg future nt bkn lg senang, tp lg ssh...
so pk2 kn la....

tros k pencetak passbook

bunyi cam pelik j...tp 2 la ape yg tercatat kt lesen L ak...mse 2 ak renew kt btr nyer post office...mmg hampeh, asl la ak xusha tol2 mse 2...ak tpk gak, tp ak rse cam xd pape la...so ak wat dunno j...
however, at da times i want 2 renew another L, at jb, there was a big problem...she said dat i need 2 go to JPJ...arghh...such a fuckin damn shit!!..
i went again at post office KL, wondering if i could get ma L be renewed...but da same thing keep happen....i couldnt get ma L be renewed...hell at dis tyme....

so, dis holiday (short holiday i guess), i went to JPJ at Bdr Permaisuri....dis tyme, Alhamdulillah, i get ma new L...so, in da meantyme, i could proceed wif ma P...yeah...i can drive again...yay!!

p/s : i wat 2 learn how 2 ride bicycle, then take L for motorcycle..

hari yg mggumbirakan..uhu

hari ney, ak ngan ex2 dak serting kua gak akhirnyer...
ak smemangnyer da 2nggu lme saat ney...kteowg kua pon atas idea bernas bella...ak ajk sarah ps2 dy on je...pe lagi, kua sakan la msg2...

yg join, ak, bella, sarah ngan sue....
ney kre fes tyme kteowg kua nk enjoy2....b4 ney pon kua sbb nk amk result spm...ces....mmg xbley blah...jmpe kali ney mmg agk bbeza ngan yg sbelum2 ney....kalo dloo kua cam still dak skolah lagi...msing2 mentah lagi..kalo nk dress up pon cam still dak2 lagi...tp kali neyh sumer da cam bsr sket...bella ngan handbag dy, sue pon sme...tp sarah cam bese lagi....da mmg identity dy...dy still maintain...cara jln 2 mmg style dy la...x2ka langsung...ak cam bese maseh...sue ingat ak mnat indie...hehhe, bju sje....

ade gak gmba2 yg kteowg amk kt toilet mid 2...tp kn, pc ak xdpt nk upload psl ak xbwk blk kabel...heheh...nt2 la ak upload...

xtvt senang gle...

• lyn WOLVERINE
• mkn ckop2
• g big apple
• bella shopping (yg len tgk j)
• smbang2

kesimpulanyer
ak sonok sgt2....sbb kua wifout pk psl stady..(even i've got 3 years more 2 finish ma studies)

p/s : ak jmpe novel 'a walk 2 remember', ade jmpe blu ray disc, g tgk tmpat bella keje, sue amk gmba cusion kt food garden 2...

i named it as 'fuckin'

ma fren said

please stop 'mncarut'
but
do i care?

u need to 'care'
ma mind spoke once
however
how to get over it?

just need to relax
haf a gud-fuckin-tyme
and sooner or later
u'll get over those

i will be

AKHIRNYER....~~

setelah selama berminggu2 (ak xkre bape lme), ak bhempas pulas ngan TITAS~THERMODYNAMICS (ak amk 2 kali)~ENG MATH~MECHANICS FLUID~DYNAMICS
akhirnyer ak abh gak final...
yahoo..google...

niat serta azam yg telah lame mmbakar dalam diri ak y telah ak vowedkn dlm diri sepnjang amk final ialah;

• ak nk lyn ternet kt umh pwas2...(utm pon ade ternet gak)
• ak nk lyn muvee pwas2..(bli cd cetak byk2...5hinggit j stu)
• ak nk lyn ape2 yg mmpu ak lyn pwas2...(korang jgn pk len dowh)
• ak nk jog...nt ak reput kalo lme tinggal...siot tol la...

tp xtw la kalo ak sempat x wat dlm mse bpe ari j yg tinggal ney....ak abh final senin r2, ps2 ak g umh mkck ak dloo, ari slase bru g kl (bkn nk lpak2, blk umh j)...
tp yg penting skang ialah ak nk jog....mngenangkn kalo ak ikt lathn btrusan ngan tempatn dis tyme, kne jog wif 8kg 'burden' be carried on ur back....r2 mse kem thnunan ak saket blkang psl salah urat, so xnk la mnde sme brulang lg...jd kne la jog ckop2...tp brite gmbiranyer, ak xg pon training kali ney...dek penangan short sem....dak meki sumer terlibat..(ak sorang j pompuan)...tp ak pegi mse mnembak lapang sasar j...ak follow j dak2 len 2..sbb mse kem thnn r2 ak xdpt mnmbak abh...takat 5 pluru j...nyesal2....ces...

ape yg ak dpt simpulkn trhadap diri ini (regarding 2 dis army PT), otak, hati dan semangat ak kte boleh, tp badan ak kte xboleh...which mean i got a will 2 do those stuff, but ma body says dat it has a limit...and i've done beyond da limit...so, i must get ma body b ready by all those...must eat more, exersice more...even a TOP model did some exersices 2 make sho dat she has a gr8 body...man...i need to...

enough wif da army things, so rite now i need 2 make sho dat ma vision and ma mission be accomplised....
afta dis i will, yeah, do those so-called chores...

hahha

p/s; i did bad 4 ma eng math, but i've got A- 4 ma titas...

tragedi DEZHARU

ble tyme2 nk abh final neyh, atw nk abh sem ney, ak msti kompem sure ingt ape yg berlaku mse fes2 sem ak kt utm ney..(merujuk mse fes year ae)....

ak ingt lg, mse 2 hari khamis, tol2 after paper thermo berlangsung (thermo ari rabu ae),..
mse 2 kteowg sumer, ana, syaf ak farahin ngan kak lin da mmg rancang nk kua rehatkn otak lps da pwas bhempas pulas ngan badai final yg melanda...mse 2 kteowg dgr ade la dak2 KP yg len nk kua gak tp stakat g CS j...(aper barang)...kteowg pon apelg, ckp la yg kteowg akn g MERSING sbb 2 mmg cadangan awal...sumer da bajet nk kua la dri banda JB, nk rse swasana yg lebih aman dan damai serta jauh dari hiruk pikuk kota (ayt masing2 ae)...mntang2 la sumer dok bnda (except kak lin, dy da bese g pantai2 ney)....so kteowg usehakn la tok dptkn kete ngan ape2 yg patut...

lps kete da dpt, dlm lps zohor kteowg pon grak la g destinasi...kteowg dpt sewe kete kancil dri seorg pengusaha kete sewa yg terulung kt utm ney...tp swear abh la rse cam da xnk sewe lg lps 2...ehheh...

perjalanan kteowg pd mulernyer mmg Alhamdulillah psl mule nyer bjlan bg2 lancar....kteowg bpndukn kpd arin..sbb dloo dy penah dok mersing...dy la yg kre bg direction ney...tp dy da mmg lme da xtinggal sne lps parents dy pndah kelantan, so kteowg tnye la dak yg mmg tinggal kt joho ney..so anas la jd tmpt kteowg referred camne nk smpai k mersing 2....

kt sini la msalahnyer muler bermule....
mngikut kate anas, dy ckp ko ikt j sign board pasir gudang...dlm perjalann, kteowg mmg ikt sign board 2...syaf yg drive 2 ikt j la...kteowg da mmg xsaba nk jmpe pantai tw mse 2...dan kteowg mmg ikot tol2 signbord pasir gudang...tp kn...last2 kteowg mmg tol2 smpai PASIR GUDANG...spt pelancong khilangan peta, kteowng tercari2 mne kah jln kua nk k mersing blk...mse 2, mmg xnmpak la pantai...yg kelihantn hanyelah kilang2 yg besar kiri dan kanan serta lori yg besar2...terase kck j diri...yela, psl nek kancil j mse 2....

kteowg cube nk kua dri c2, tp dlm perjalnan kua 2 tnmpak la signboard 'PANTAI PASIR LAYAR'..oleh krane kami sumer mmg kpingin nkmtgk pantai sbb mmg jrng tgk, kteowg tabahkn hati tok crik pntai 2...smpai2, kteowg nmpak ade post kawalan cam dlm utm...mse 2 da tpk, ney pantai peranginan k pantai perindustrian...so kak lin 2run tnye org 2...dy ckp ney mmg pntai peranginan, tp sdg dlm construction...mmg gelak abh la mse 2...pantai under construction..ingt cam jepon k...adoiyai..

ps2 pkck guard 2 bg jln tok pg k tmpt peranginan yg tdkt...ade mmg ade tp kn, ble da smpai, jmpe perlabuhan...mse 2 da twakal abh da...nk crik tmpt 2 da cm fuckin treasure hunt things...adeyh...

last2, kteowg g j la desaru....mse dlm perjalanan 2 gak ak tnmpak la PULADA....sronok...tp knak sorang j la yg excited tgk psl yg len sumer awam j...

smpai2 desaru da ptg....nk crik tmpt solat pon stu cabaran gak weyh....
ade suro tp mse 2 bru nek air...psl mse kteowg smpi 2 hujan bru lps reda....g la solat kt chalet yg agk mahal...tumpang j suro sne.....mse 2 kn, ade la ana amk gmba,,,dan mnde yg mngejutkn ialah, dlm gmba 2 ade entiti..korang msti tw ape kn...entiti 2 kn agk dkt ngan ak...ya Allah..mmg bederaw darah ak mse 2...Allah sje tw.....

lps solat kteowg g la men air sket2...yg pnting ak abh basah...siot tol...tp xp..slamat ak bwk baju...hehhe....

lps 2, kteowg bsiap sedia btolak balik utm...cadang nk benti solat kt hentian tdekat...kt kota ade stu.....

so, ney la bermulaner tragedinyer...td kt ats 2 msalah yg dtg..hanyer bibit masalah yg mmbawa kpd msalah besar....

kteowg da tnmpak stu hentian, syaf tsasar sket la jarak nk benti 2..tp kn, xtw nape kete ttbe slow...dan benti tros...nk kte minyak abh xmungkin...sbb kteowg bru isi mse 2...mse 2 da maghrib...benti tgh2 jln...agk cerah lg mse 2...kteowg sumer 2ron dri kete, nk tgk ape yg jd...ak g la bkk hud dpn...tgk enjin...enjin bek mse 2....tp kn ble bkk tngki air, tgk air da kosong...so isi air ps2 smbung jln...kteowg g k stesen minyak yg tdekat sbb nk mntk tolong tgkkn kete neyh...kteowg jln smbil lmpu hazard bkk...mmg bkelip2 la mse 2...ape yg mmpu.. 2 j la...

lps smpai kt petronas 2, mntk org 2 tolong tgkkn...dy ckp tangki xd air...so soh mskkn air ikt radioato (kalo xsilap)...kteowng wat pe yg disurh...so lepak jap, nk bg enjin sejuk...sbb mse kteowg jln kete 2 snbnryer high temperature...2 la msalah yg kteowg figure out mse kete mati tyme tepi jln td...rupenyer mmg tol...slamat tindakan kteowg tol....

lps kete da ok sket..niat di hati mmg nk blk utm j la...doa asl slamat smapai sudah..xdnyer lagi nk singgh tebrw kalo ikt idea asal....

tp Allah 2 lebih tw..dan da mmg tersurat, kete kteowg mati wat kali kdua....
kali ney mmg cabaran serta dugaan..kete mati kt tgh2 jln nk mnuju blk kua dri kwsn kota tinggi...kwsn agak keras (ayh ak penah pesan), sbb kteowg dah lewati 2 kwsn kemalangan (ade signboard 2lis)....mse 2 ari da tol2 gelap..ade cahaye lmpu kete j..jln mmg kompem2 gelap...mse 2 mmg msing xbley la down...sumer mmg kne kwat mse 2...da la sumer pompuan...5 pompuan tanpa lelaki..sumer pk if ade sorang lelaki pon da ckop at least dpt rse slamat la sket...mse 2 bru sedar lelaki dan pompuan diciptakn tok saling bantu mmbantu dan saling melengkapi antara satu sme len....tp mse 2 xd laki, so mmg kne bngantung ssme sndiri la....yg penting sorang pon xbley nanges..ak akui mse 2 ak Alhamdulillah semnagt ak kwat...dan rse cam berani ttbe..xtw nape...ak sanggup temankan syaf kua kete tok isi air dlm radioator 2...mse 2 ak xpk ape2 sgt sbb ak asek pk camne nk get out from such situation....lps da isi air, kteowg troskn perjalann...crik stesen minyak yg tdekat lg...jmpe la 1..petronas...kt kota gak...kt c2 la ade sorang kakak yg keje kt c2 dpt tolong kteowg..bsyukur sgt2 psl dy concern abh....tp tok persediaan ak tepon sedara ak yg kebetulan ade kt felda linggiu...mse 2 abg masdar da tdo tp dy sanggup gak nk amk kteowg..da siap pnjam van abg jakfar...sian kak jam sekeluarge...slamat xsusahkn lme sgt...walaupon ak sshkn jgk....

kakak 2 tolong ckpkn kt abg 2 msalh kete kancil 2....dy cek2 dan result came out yg tangki kete 2 yg mghubungkn k radiator bocor...so isi air byk2 pon xd gne....sian....

abg kancil 2 dtg slps kteowg lme 2nggu...dy try btolkn tp mmg xley...so sumbat 7 org nek kancil smpai skudai...tp benti jap kt skudai sbb nk mkn..mse 2 da kul 1 lbeyh...mkn dloo.....sbb kteowg xmkn nasi pon sjk ptg 2.....

blk utm ngan slamat even kne sorokkn kak lin...dy xbwk kad matrik ae....blk blek tros tdo...

ble ingt kjadian 2, kkdg rse cam mnarik tp ade padah gak...kak lin ckp mgkin sbb kte sumer subuh gajah x...2 yg reason nape hari 2 bley jd seteruk cam2....pengajarannyer....mulerkn la hari anda ngan kalimah Allah...sesungguhnyer, xrugi pape pon kalo kte bgn pagi sbb nk sujud kt Dia...sbb kte hambe dy, so sedar2 la diri 2 sket....


next tyme, ble nk pegi mne2 kne ade rancangan yg bek serta btol....

p/s; perkara di atas xmnjadi penghalang tok ak tros melancong bersame2 mmbe ak...

I AM HERE

it is hard 4 me 2 get into dis concrete problem..
as much as i tried 2 run, it stills...
keep haunting me, following me and much worse, keep coming back to me...

only Allah noes how does it feels...
i noe dat i cannot run away from it, but i do noe dat i cant fight it back...


need help!!!

wat shud i do??

xoxo
phew
xoxo

p/s ; i dun really wan to get into dis kinda trouble anymore

method yg ssuwai to stady ngan bek...(ak bru found dis out)

fes2 skali, ak post ney sbb ak nk share camne care nk stady, 2 pon ak cedok2 dri mmbe2 ak, tokok tmbah ngan care trsendiri (ak kn bakal engineer, so kne kreatif la, heheh). tp sumer trpulang kt korang mmbe2 camne nk applied ps2 wat care sendiri...

• fes thing dat matter, is ur NIAT..eja bek2...ur niat will determine ur mission in ur stady...ur niat has to be rite and must always rite..dun u eva eva try to manipulate ur niat because once u haf manipulated it, ur determination will eventually be manipulated too....niat kerana ALLAH adelah yg terbaik..timbelah sbyk ilmu yg ade kt muke bumi ni slagi ko mseh idop dan mseh bernafas (paru2 mseh sehat)..jgn r korang nk blaja sbb nk lulus exam semate2...nt ilmu 2 cpt hilang (ak ckp berdasarkn pengalamn...FORTRAN ak da lupe..)
• blaja ngan care sndiri....pick ur best tyme to stady....dun u eva try to imitate anybody in how their revised their studies...different people got differnt style, yet differnt hairstyle...
• avoid misconception....(as i always did, im learnin to avoid it)...in any studies, concept is da most basic thing...for example, in mechanical, if u misunderstood da concept, ur lyfe would be like HELL!!
• think out of da box, be creative sometimes, but need to stick to da fact...yet, fact is science rite?
• dun push urself too much, haf a lil rest..(as i always did)...haf a walk sometimes, b4 da exams i guess..
• ask if u r not clear wif da particular topics..

yeah, dats all from me....

when i feel like writing, i will post..dats me....since i am stuck rite now wif da fluid, so i think dat it would better 4 me 2 check ma blog out..


p/s : 2 papers left to go...fluid mechanics and dynamics

reunion yg xdijangke...(ak plan mse 2 gak sbnarnyer)

stelah lme sdah ak x mnjenguk mmbe2 ak yg kini bertaburan di sekitar UTM ni, sab2 lps, ak smpatlah mluangkan masa dgn dyowg....

walaupon sbnarnye ak dtg nk jmpe wanie psl ak rndu sgt ngan dy, tp ak mmpu mngschedulekn jadualku sndiri sbb ak rse tpanggil nk jmpe dyowg...
pg 2, ak bgn lmbt mcm bese, lps suboh tdo (alamak, trok yer prangai)...lps bgn dri tdo yg kdua, ak pon bgegas mndi, xrebut shower ngan sspe pon...lps ak ak mulakn la routine ak spt bese...namun, hati ak sbnrnyer tgerak nk g PSZ...nk ajk syaf, tp dy cam xnk g...so bbkalkn kdt fon yg sket, ak pon tepon la wanie yg pd wk2 itu berade kt KTF (2 mmg kolej dy)...ak nyatekn hasrat ak nk ajk dy g PSZ, tp tah, dy xmo g...dy kte nk stady kt blek permata kt KTF 2...ak rse cam nk lari dri suasane haruk KP so ak pon siap2 angkat kaki tok kmbali k KTF (KTF 2 kolej lme ak)...tp ak grak lps zohor la....

ak bajet siap cpt smpai cpt...tp x sbnarnye...dan sebenarnye...ak nek bas...hehhe..phm2 la keadaan yg mmkse 2...smpai KTF, ak xtros stady sme dy..cam bese...apabila mmbe lme btemu, ape kteowg wat...bazirkan air luir la dloo...hhha...da rse lme ckp ak ngan dy pon g la blek stady 2.....mngkin ade org pk, 'watpe la ak nk stady jauh2...KTF 2 jauh weyh' dan ak pon akn jwb la 'watpe ko nk sibok, 2 idop ak owh!'....tp ak xd la zalim sgt, ak mseh pompuan melayu terakhir...reason utama knape ak sanggup g kt KTF adelah sbb wanie ney student math..senin r2 ak nk amk paper eng math, so rse xsalah la kalo ak blaja ngan org yg lebih arif dlm bidang dy.....

lps sdah stady, lps asar ak cadang nk jln2 la ngan wanie..jmpe mmbe2 ak yg kt c2 gak...ak sorang j yg dok jauh...mmg dlm 1 sem 2, ak rse 2 adelah second tyme ak jmpe wanie...bpk jarang nk ketemu...

so kteowg pon cdg mkn sme2...jmpe la ngan sumer...except 4 inaz...ak tepon sore dy cam xsaba nk jmpe rmai2..last2 nazu j yg kua dri M27 2...dy nyer xd...mghilang..kte nk stady...aiyhhhh...sabo j la.....



ney adelah wanie, nazu ngan ak...

pttnyer ade gmba yg kteowg 7 org...ak xjmpe lak dlm lp ak ney...

tp 2 la...stelah lme xjmpe kn, rse ble jmpe 2 da len...kalo dloo ble jmpe msing2 akn citer psl mktb k ape mnde yg ade kaitan ngan kteowg...tp kn ble jmpe ngan dyowg r2, kteowg citer psl stady j byk...wanie ngan yat citer psl fac dyowg...lecturer 2 la lecturer ney la...cam2....has ngan nazu plak psl fac dyowg...ak nk citer xd sspe...yelah, ak sorang dak meki kt c2...

tok record,

• wanie amk math industri fac sains
• yat amk fzk industri fac sains
• nazu amk kej kimia bioproses fkksa
• has amk kej kimia pure fkksa
• inaz amk kej kimia bioproses
• nor amk kimia industri fac sains
• ak amk kej mekanikal aero

dan tok record gak, mse kt mktb ak ngan nazu 2 klsmate, wanie klsmate ngan yat, nor klsmate ngan inaz, has xd klsmate...hehhe
ps2, ak, nazu, nor, yat..kteowg stu homrum...hehhe...bangge mak homrum ak...yeah...

tp kn, rndu gak kt mktb kkdg...rse cam nk blk jap...tp mmg kne balik pon psl nk kne amk sijil spm...adeyh...rsekan la...

ok la..
ckop stakat ini sje bebelan ak dlm warkah maya ini...yeah...

salam...
xoxoxo
ak akn 2lis lg
xoxoxo

p/s : next tyme kalo nk wat reunion ngan dak stg, ak kne stand by dwet owh...mee wantan k11 2 costly gak la...

life will be no like hell if u follow dis simple rules

• have faith in Allah..n have faith in everything dat u do...
• believe in urself...trust urself when nobody trust u...
• try 2 be perfect even though u noe dat no one is perfect...yeah..dats rite..at least u try...
• never cheated on urself...cheatin urself is much worst than cheating on the other....
• motivate urself...
• try 2 love urself b4 u can try 2 love someone else...
• family and frens...fes thing on da list.....
  

abh da owh

yeah...

ak ske gle2 arini...

sbb ak da abh thermo...

bkn ssh, tp still ssh

sbb ak repeat...

xoxo
zati
xoxo

2morrow

2morrow is ma day

im goin to prove dat i can make it better

yeah

GO THERMO!!!!

why is all black

ma fren once told me...he complained bout ma blog page...he said dat, 'y is all black?, dun u haf another colour 2 make it more attractive?'...
there it goes...
but i was just, let it...
maybe some tot dat i mite not gud at decorating dis stuff...but believe me, i could, but i dunno how...hihi....

then, somehow, i was thinking if i could make it more attractive.....yeah....da post la....if all da posts was not an eye-catching title or words, how could possibly people read thows...

yeah, from now on, i wanna speak out ma mind n say all this stuff of shit whicheva dat come cross ma mind...huhu

it's miracle

this kinda tot neva eva cross ma mind....

she changed...

she changed....

da world is gonna changed....

ape yg dy ckp tol2 msk kt jiwa ak....

ak nmpak ape yg btol skang....

ak jnji xmo hanyut

LAGI....

peksa2~xd kaitan sgt ngan citer ak~

peksa....
dloo mse kt skolah lme, kt btr, kalo ade exam kt test k pape la, ak mmg xpenah kesah....siap lek2 j lg...tp kn ble ak dpt msk mrsm, ak tgk dak2 dy mmg bbeza la...asl standardize sumer stady cam nk spm...ak yg pade mulenyer mmg xmo ikt care 2 sbb ak nk jd cam btr dloo terikut la jgk...yela, da klsmate ak mse f4, f5 ngan rumates ak pon wat cam2, nk wat camne....secare xlangsung terikut gak la....ingt lg, dloo mse kt btr, kalo sok next week exam, ak stady ckop2 dloo kt umh...owg mmg xnmpk useha ak...hehe...mmg 2 niat ak pon.....ak nk lari dri gelaran skema ngan ulat buku....ps2, ble tyme nk msk kls tok exam, ak pon msk r ngan muke rilek jer....ps2 jwb ngan leklok...membe sumer ckp yg ak jwb mke seyus...kerut...tp ape ak pduli....da ak nk jwb....hahhaha...last2 skor gak...kre skorer btr la neyh...tp ak bkn nyer terkenal sgt pon kt btr dloo...but i got maself frens....aisyah naemah, dahlia, arina, pooi sze...2 sumer mmg membe bek ak la...smpai skang xpenah brubah....sumer still cam dloo, luv dis frenship...hoho....



ney dak2 btr owh...dri kiri, poo sze, aisyah, ak, dahlia ngan arina...


2 mse kt btr, lps 2 ak dpt twrn msk mrsm...serting tw...mmg rmai xtw, tp ak xkesah pon...jnji ak da grad dri ktb ngan jayer nyer....kalo sbut mktb, stu mnde yg ak xdpt luper ialah rumates ak mse f5...mse 2, nadia ngan bella j yg stay...dyowg rumate ak mse f4...sarah yg dipindah msk k blek ak..mle2 rse len, yela, org bru....tp kn da lme2 ak pon rse cam kte sumer mmg ley msk...work 2getha...lg2 mse ade org pecah msk mktb ak...mmg memori la...yela, mne xnyer, org yg pecah msk 2 ikt pgr blakang mktb ak yg kbtulan kt blakang blek ak...mse 2 ak j yg bwk enset...so nk gtw warden la...ak iktkn xley bwk psl ak LDP, tp ak bwk psl ak da nk g tournament silat mse 2....mmg syg r mktb....

xlme lps ak tinggalkn mktb, lps abh spm la....cdg nk wat pape yg bley tmbh dwet poket, tp mmg xtw ape...so ak amk la lesen....dlm tempoh nk dpt kn L 2 ak dpt la plak offer g msk UTM sbg plaja EXPRESS MARA...bunyi cam gmpak kn...tp xgmpak mne pon...P ak sangkut psl ney la....adoiyai....tp kn mmg syukur la dpt mende ney..sbb ak da one step closer ngan cite2 ak...hehe...tp mmg naye la dok utm sbg plaja 4kas (2 gelaran kpd dak express mara)...org blaja kt mtrix sethn, 2 sem...kteowg xsmpai 5 bln...so kalo xwat tol2 mmg naye la....ak ngaku, ak men2 mse mle2...yela, sonok weyh dok u....tp kn lps ak nyer mrkh calculus hancor, mse test 2, ak tros sedar....xnk la xdpt aero...kalo ak xdpt aero, mmg sdeyh bkn kpalang la...sbb mak ayah ak expect da bes from me...mmg rugi la....mse 2 ak twakl j la...kalo xdpt, xdpt...Allah 2 lbeyh tw ape yg terbaek tok hambenyer ini....

tp kn, ak dpt aero...hari ak tw ak dpt aero, ak mlompat2 gle...sonok weyh....cam ko da jd engineer aero da mse 2..dan mse 2 gak la ak terbyg gaji yg byk, umah bsr...hhehee...angan2 j sumer 2....dpt msk aero bru azabnyer...mmg trok kalo ko xdpt survive...ak repeat subjek...khilaf sndiri ae...mmg xmo slhkn sespe....pdn mke sndiri...so skang ak dlm useha nk pulihkn result ak....sem dpn ak da xdkt ngan membe aero ak....mse 2, bye2 farahin (umate ak), kak arin (kakak ak), kak lin (ustazah), kakana (yg plg hot dlm aero, dan kakasyaf (ibu tsyg)....



ney lak dak2 aero, yg brdiri 2, kak arin, ps2 dri kiri, syaf, ana, farahin, ak, dan kak lin


mse 2 ak akn kne pndah kt K11...agk jauh ngan fkm....mmg ssh la gak bg org cam ak yg xreti bwk moto ney...adoiyai....

tp xpe, pengalaman ak mngajar ak erti hidup....bior la ak xkaye dwet, tp ak nk kaye ilmu ngan pengalaman..

xoxox
real beb
xoxox

lyfe

2day i was having ma fes paper...it was titas...i am pretty shi dat yall noe wat it is...huhu...
but da point dat i wanna highlite here is i was so so touch by da muvee dat i just saw 2day...i asked ana 2 download it 4 me and she did...da gud news is da muvee was ready 4 me 2 watch just as i finished ma fes paper...wifout wasting any tyme or moment, i went 4 da muvee....

FOREST GUMP...

i've seen dis muvee b4 on tv..when i was a little...of cos...and i am so glad dat i can see it again...da fes thing dat i tot bout da muvee was, 'wow'..yeah just wow...da muvee is all bout dis guy named FOREST GUMP...he has low IQ...besides, he could not walk...but miracle can happen....he could walk as well as run....it was all because of dis girl named JENNY.....i wont talk bout much of da muvee...im sho dat yall can find it urself...besides, i am not a gud story-teller...

da main reason dat i wanna write here is dis muvee is basicly give me hopes and dreams of becoming somebody instead just be among da somebody....eventhough dat i noe i am exist and always be existed, but deep down inside, i noe i am just nobody....i wanna be recognized too and i got reasons 4 it...im not such a spoil-brat who wanted to be noticed but im just too invisible and i wan to be visible in dis solid world.....just like wat happen 2 forest....at fes, he was way too invisible and only be noticed by da crowd because he was 'stupid'...dey called him dat....i noe how it feels when we be called by dat such name...i was be called by dat name...and i just wanna get out of dis shell at dis fast second... i hope i can.....but after seeing dis muvee, i get dat hope and i wanna reach it...just like foerst, he was nothin b4...but then, he discovered his destiny and he reached 4 it...
i was crying seeing dis muvee....i hope dat i can be like him...haf a tough heart and strong will....

kisah putih dan merah...

bunyi cam dlm bawang putih ngan merah kan?tp xd la sgt....nk kte psl siska ngan revalina s. temat pon x gak....hehe...

ak pilih tajuk 'kisah putih ngan merah' ney psl mende ney amat berkait rapat antara stu sme lain...mmpunyai bonding yg kwat seakan2 setelah undergo ionic bond (ak xsho tol k x..)...tp kan, xd la sgt...
mende kisah peristiwa ini berlaku akibat hati ak yg tersgt la degil...mmg degil dan ak rse ak ptt amk mende ney sbg pngajaran kerana perkara ney ak ptt ingt smpai ble2....

mende ney berlaku pd pg hari yg sgt indah dan ak rse akan berjln lncar la kalo ak wat xtvt ape2, ( i mean if dis does not happen)....spt bese (kalo dlm skuad, kteowg ckp cam bese), ak bgn pg2..area2 8 lbeyh la (jam ak still consider pg)..lps mndi ak tros on lp, men awtocat...ksygn ak...wat2 la sumer cylinder yg ak xsmpat extrude mlm b4 2, tmbah lobang mne2 yg xckop, ps2 bajet2 kre dimension yg da mmg ak da kre...ngah2 rjin wat, umate ak yg sorang neyh (mmg stu pon umate ak j) pon bru bgn...bgn brsame jasad nyer dan jge idea2 bernas yg xpernah kering (idea ak j kdg2 basah)....dy ckp "goyah, jom kua rini!!", ak terkebil2 mate dgr, tlinge pon cam xcaye..bkn sbb dy xpenah ajk ak cam2, cme sbb ak rse dy ney ade ilmu yg dpt bce mind ak x...ak pon ape lg...mcm org haus coke dihulurkan, ak pon tros mnerime pelawaan umate ak ney....dlm hati, ak mlonjak gumbire dan ak zahirkan jua...huhu...yeah kua beb....

mende2 yg perlu dibwat b4 kua

• mndi = beres
• mnum nescafe = beres
• pilih bju = beres
• yg penting!!!! kete sewe = beres!!!

yeah..oleh krn sumer equations yg ade lt ats equal ngan beres, bmkne ak mmg akn kua r2 ngan umate ak...hehe...

dlm perjalnn nk 2run amk knci 2, (dlm lif sbnrnyer...), ak tnye farahin, 'bley x ak nk try drive rini...?sket jer....?' dlm ati kalo smpai kua utm pon ley gak...farahin cam bese 'GOYAH,....bkn ak xnk bg ko bwk..tp ko xd lsen, kalo ade pape jd kn ssh' ' tp kn jln dlm utm j, xkn xley kot?' 'tp jln ttp jln, kmlangan kn jd kt ats jln, jln utm 2 pon jln gak...'
demikian la ye kngkwn, ape yg trjd dlm lif...
tp kn, yg pliknyer, lps dpt knci kete, ak amk ps2 tros dok tmpt driver, farahin xkte pape pon...so ape lg...ak pon drive la...cdg nk bwk kua parkin j...yeah, dpt kua woooo.....ps2 ak tros r proceed nk k dpn u5..amk farahin la kunun...hehe...dgn mke yakinnyer, ak soh farahin 'move ova' sket, yelah psl dy hlg jkn mse 2...kang ak langga ssh kang...ps2 ak bwk la mlalui u5, u6...dan....dlm pd mse yg sme, ak ade ternmpak la kete yg jln countercurrent...xsilp ak, 2 jln ak dowh...cilake nyer kete...ngan lajunyer kete 2 meluncur tnpa mmpedulikan ak dan da next thing dat i noe was...DAMN....AK LANGGA KETE HONDA CIVIC WEYH!!!!(yg lme la tp)...bkn kete yg slh jln td, ney kete len yg kt dlm petak parking, kete yg kwang ajo 2 slamat.....ak spt bese...glabah dan kaget ngan situasi....weyh, 2 fes tyme ak drive slps 5 bln lps...dan fes drive accident dan fes drive tnpe lesen...mmg ADOIYAI...ak trbyg wajah kecewa mak ayh ak...mmg shiak la kete yg jln countercurrent mse 2...kalo ak ingt, ak nk aje bakar, ps2 ltopkn...tmbah skali m23...kompem sdp nyer bekecai...xckop lg, ak tmbk gne m16 ak, bkk auto, abhkn peluru stu klopak...bior puas ati den.....
tp apekn daye, ak mmg xingt kete ape, kaler ape, nombo plate ; mmg kurniaan la kalo ak ingt...yg ak tw mse 2, ak mnggigil...kalah kalo mse ak amk final calculus kt dsi dloo....kalah jge kalo ak g kt antartika (ney ak men ptik j)...ak nk tpon farahin, fes attempt, mk lang ney xangkat tepon, tp ps2 dy angkt la.....alhamdulillah, abg kancil yg ak sewe ney ade lak...ak ckp la kt dy yg ak accident....kancilnyer..slamat..HONDA CIVIC (lme) yg ak lngga ney kopak weyh bumper blakang dy...xcaye, tgk neyh



ney isometric psl ade elevation 20 degree


ney lak side view....


ha itulah ketenyer...ak xtw npe ak jd bertnggungjwb sgt, ak pon crik la spe tuan nyer kete...stelah puas crik jmpe la puan nyer kete...yela psl kakak kan....hati dan kotak pkran ak mse 2, 'asl la kakak???pompuan dowh...asl xpondan k?'...xd la smpai pondan ak sbut, 2 tulis jek...tp yg pnting asl la kakak...ak tw kalo ade certain pompuan mmg payah nk bwk negotiate ney...lg stu xsume pompuan mahir dlm nk baik pulih kete ney..stakat bwk mmg la terer...cam ak...hehe..

fes impression ak keatas kakak 2, KEREK owh...korang ptt tgk mkernyer...yelah da kete kne crash..mne x mara weyh..tp agk2 la...ad citer2 sket2 psl kete 2, ak dgr la bait2 perbualan mereka bhwa kos pnyelenggaraan HONDA CIVIC (lme) 2 adela dlm 600 keats...isi hati ak pd mse 2, (DEMAND nk mmpOs!!!) ak bajet la dwet ak akn xd, ps2 terbyg gak la yg ak akn keje kt JJ nnt, jd cashier k atw x pon keje kt HINODE....abh...sdeyh2...

abh2 citer, bkn smbang2 la psti, ak bstuju nk baya gnti rugi....yelah..da nme ak lngga...siot tol la....ps2, yg ayt kakak 2 xbley bla, dy ckp yg pnting jgn r wat2 diam j ae lps ney...ak panas r mse 2...'ko ingt ak xnk baya k?' nk aje ak ckp cm2...kalo ak xnk amk responsible 2 la, da lme ak lngga ps2 lari..tngglkn HONDA CIVIC (lme dy) cam2 j....

ps2 ak g mkn dloo kt kafe pk jamil...mkn la weyh...lapa mse 2....nek ats pk kn pnyelesaian....arap2 ade....yg pnting ANA trkejut yg ak accident...dyowng membe2 aero ak ingt ak guro..adoiyai...yela..ak mne de lesen...dlm kpla ak ingt nk tnye la sspe yg tw kdai kete potong tdkt....anas la spe lg..dy dak tmn u...so mntk la tlg dy...dy la hero dlm mende ney...dy g crikkn kdai, dan waaaa.....ade kdai murah weyh...so xd la terbang dwet ak sbyk 600 keatas....

ptg 2 gak g kdai tolkan kete...ade gak probs ble kakak 2 xmo fes bumper yg di offer....ak nk aje kte 'xyah la pk2 sgt, taw la ak baya, jgn r demand, jnji kete ko bley jalan...sudeyh...', tp xtkua lak...so ikt la dy, xmo bumper second hand...nk yg fes hand aje...dlm pd mse 2 gak, ak ade la tnye, 'akak asl mne?' dan dy pon jwb la 'slangor'....ps2 ak tnye lg, 'slangor ktne kak?' dan dy pon jwb ngan spatah 'klang'...ak tnye lg, 'klang ktne kak?' penat tw ak nk type camney tw... ps2 dy jwb (ngan arrogant nyer) 'BANDAR'...alamak...aiyh....dlm kpla otak ak, nk aje ak ckp...'AK KL XD PON NK CKP BANDA!!!!!'.. tol2 cam shiak weyh...bajet ak kg sgt la....adoiyai.....


dan, story nyeh pon abh lbeyh kwang camney je...sbb ak da mls nk type lg...tp yg pnting mse kakak 2 dpt blek kete dy, dy xkte timer kasih pon...ak xmntk pon timer kasih dy tp pk2 la...berat sgt k nk ckp TQ 2...ak bkn xtolong 2kakn bumper dy..ak wat weyh...siap cat ngan fes hand lg 2...430 ak hilang psl HONDA CIVIC (lme dy)...mmg hangin stu bdan....tp nk wat camne salah ak gak...psl ak ingt 2 slah ak la ak wat2 lek j...yela, ak da lngga.....



p/s: bwk kete len kali kne ade lesen ae...

how fun it is?

even ma mood is about to write, and i put ma passion on it, on da other side, i still hold back....dunno wat is or are da real reason dat i must hold back and be in silent but i am...was, is and always...stay in silence....even ma lips just cannot understand wat silence is, but i do live in silence...sometimes, demure kinda person, yeah it is me...but, people dat r all around me just like thinking dat i was live in da other world...'such a shit when u was thinking dat u r silence'...dey said...but 'u r silence'...dats wat da strangers think of who am i.... and yeah...wat does da strangers thinks of me is quite rite...i am silence....yet, it claims suffer...i was suffucating in silence..people around me didnt noe bout dat...i was crying in silence.....dey thought dat i was happy....

silence pays nothing....speak when u haf to...da words dat u uttered are such valuable....

number wat? post......

hoho...believe me, yesterday ive done ma dynamcs test...it was da thrd test....but HELL me coz an eve b4 da test, i still cannot understand how 2 answer correctly da question....i still cant analysed da problems correctly, and da worst is ma PA was kinda mockin at me cos i cant see da problems da lies in da question clearly....durhhh...i shudnt to...i mean i shud pay more attention in class (i did), but, yeah...i didnt....


just now, i read ur blog arina...(bintang kusowt)...pape la spelling dy....perghhh...wat can i say dat ur language really trigger me gal!!!...ur words, ur sentences...warghhh...i luv 'em all....i shud tell everyone bout it.....hhahaha

2nite, ive got another test..it is an Engneering drwing...shud bring all those stuff...i thought of dat....and i just can hope 4 da best 4 ma test...

jauhkah ak dgn pncipta...

yesterday, i called ma sis which is kinda far from here (as long as i cant see her face, i considered far). of cos she told me everything dat had happened to her dis entire tyme when im not around and believe me all of her story kinda 'not' really trigger me...she will be sat for her SPM paper dis november....and all i can do bout it is only wish her luck and not to forget she told me to come home and teach her physics.....yeah, i will teach u ana.. dun worry bout dat....
but, dats not da main point dat i wanna shout out here....one of her story really has triggered me down ma vein...it was really a-heart-pounding chit chat and i was crying last nite by thinking of it...
she told me about her dream...in her dream, she saw me....i was deformed...according to her...da body was me, yeah, i was slim, tall and lean...she saw dat...but da face, shes wasnt me...she said dat i was black-burnt, chubby and completely deformed.....people mite think y shud i believe in those stuff...it's a farce thow...but i am not to think of dat....she dreamt about it rite after she performed her tahajud....i story-tell dis back to Kak Lin as she noes everything bout dis better than me....she asked me, wat was ma last tyme recite Koran? i told her, last week (eventhow i was kinda ashamed to tell her, but i told her, 4 ma own gud u noe)...she mocked me and kinda got fierce wif me....she told me dat, y i'd leave it 4 a such a long tyme?..dats ma fault..i admit...she did some brainwashing things to me yeaterday nite...and luckily, when da tyme i got back to ma room, i perform ma isya' and last nite id recited Yasin and AlMulk...Alhamdulillah...i was fine...ma spirit came back and i think dat i can live up da day...and yes...i did live ma day 2day...

p/s; life is not bout winning and be on da top entire tyme, life is about getting urself out from da sea when u get drowning and learn how to be on da bottom...

sememangnye ak mahu mnyatakn mende ney da lme...

b4 ney, ak xpenah telibat secare serius dlm pape mende yg melibatkn prkare2 yg tlampaw lasak...tp lps msk palapes bru ak tw ape mkna lasak yg tsirat disebalik segale2 latihan 2....but, b4 dat, rather than latihn fizikal yg lasak ak nk ckp n mnyuarakn isi hati ak selame ney psl hormat mnghormati....

maybe it's just i shudnt haf 2 talk bout dis, but i want 2....be in army things is not as easy as it looks, (i dun think dat it is or was easy), just face it, if i were real soldier, i haf 2 wake up at 5, preparing da things dat supposed be prepared and so much things to do....i cant listed all those here...rahsia negare....and da most important things dat shud be highlighted here is respection...(does dis word exist?).....when i was in training session, i really haf to fake maself...i have 2 become 2 wat have become....means i was not me at dat tyme...i was somebody else....i just 'bowed' down to da highest rank in da squad and durhhh dat was not me....but i did those because i haf to...if im not, hell again...i'll be doomed...

why me?

haha....
i didnt get KP 4 next sem....im going to another college....im goin 2 K11....man, kinda far from fkm.....wat shud i do?

• buy a motorcycle? (need 2 learn 2 ride bicycle fes)
  
• buy a car? (hell!, no)
• wait 4 da bus? (like im suppose 2)
• get a ride wif ma fwen (aero boys will be in K11 next sem)
• pray 4 a gud things to happen....

those r solutions 4 ma problems....but shud i stick wif only one of it 4 da rest of dis 4 sems?gosh...i made maself thru dis...i will....

a new me...

aha....
i think i wanna write again...it feels like i am not me when i was not typing any single word dat i wanna to post here...what dat i wanna write here 2day is about ma new experience which i had encountered recently....
yeah, sounds pretty cool...however, it does not sounds as it was good for me...i was the only person at dat tyme who felt it and be burdened by it.....for me, it was really such a 'fight-n-flight' (i dunno wat words dat suit dis kinda circumtance) situation wherever i need to make a hard choice between ma bestie and da boy i like...
such a hard choice to make....but believe me, if i be given again da same choices, of coz, without any hesitation, i would chose ma bestie....as for me, frens, a really gud frens are really hard to find...dats wat i vowed to maself since i was a kid....i like befren n be wif ma fren....
it was all started wif me, i was not blaming maself though, it is just it...i think i started all these shit things....just rewind dis story back, if i was not let him thru me, all these sorrow fuckin thing wouldnt happenned to me....and i was so down at dat tyme....i was really feel bad with maself..i thought dat i was kinda invisible bcos they didnt let me know da thruth....and what hurt da most was i found out da thruth maself, which i'd expect any of both tell me....i was too afraid to cry because i thought dat it would hurt me deeply...but i failed to hold it and i cried.....but deep down inside, he does not deserve ma tears.....it is because, i was not meant for him...so y would i cry for a such a boy....i tried to fight all these feelings as well as to recover ma wounds....i thought dat it would be such a long healing, but then it comes dat i need only a day to recover it and i found out dat da day after those circumtance, i was entirely recovered...Alhamdullilah....i was blessed by His love and protection....i admit to maself dat it would be da last for me to cry for the thing dat i dun deserve and will be da last...and suprisingly, i could talk to her and him as close as before.....i wan them to be happy as they pray for their happiness...i love them both as they are ma true and ral frens....and i was proud of maself because i can handle dis problem like a woman...not as teenage gilr...haha...really proud of maself....

malay,.....

sdah lme ak cdg nk post dlm bm...tp cam xksampaian sbb ak cam nk speakin j...
hehe
test english sndiri...org len xnk testkn, so ak la test sndiri english ak.....wawawaaww....
dlm mnggu ney ak tlah wat byk perkare yg mmg nmpak cam sbuk...adeyh...mmg sbok pon....
tp important part yg ak nk highlight ney adelah,,
ak nyer enset msk lobang jmban owh!!!!
perasaan sdeyh bkn kepalang.....da la enset mhl..(xd la mhl sgt kalo iktkn, tp ak kn kdekut).....ps2 msk dlm lobang jmban...test da nk dkt...adeyh mmg cabaran.....bkn ak nk mrungut ngan naseb ak, ak jus nk luahkn j slps ak da puas luahkn kt membe2 ak melalui kate2 sbntar td....(mende 2 jd mlm td)....
kalo korang nk tw, enset 2 xd la smpai k tahap nyawa ak dimane 'tnpe enset, idopkah ak?'....tp ianye ckopla bermakna tok ak psl alarm enset 2 la yg mmg mngejutkn ak bgn subuh tiap2 pg...xd permulaan yg bek camne nk troskn idop dlm ari 2? ak ckp camney sbb ak percaye yg subuh yg bek adelah permulaan hari yg bek....jd, nk djadikn crite, psl enset 2 msk lobang jmban, ak xdpt bgn sbuh awl la pg td...cam bese, subuh gajah....0711...man, pity on maself....

selain enset ak msk jmban, smalm jgkla hari yg mnjadi saksi dimana ak blaja supaye jgn putus asa wlwpon ko da xnmpk chaye kt hujung jln (ney ayt sastera)....yesterday, i was completely down wif maself...as well as too keciwa wif maself...'i noe dat im not pretty gud in math, so y i didnt put any effort 2 improve dat?'....im askin maself...do i deserve dat????.....but then, i reminded maself dat i did put an effort to maself in eng math, but y i cannot answered da questions yesterday?do i need to blame maself?
somehow, yeah i shud....but, please shudnt....



xoxoluvmaselfxoxo

katy perry?

huh...it has been a long tyme dat i did not write anything on dis blog....thus 2day, i feel like i wanna write, so i feel it is better 4 me 2 write instead of waiting 4 another tyme 2 write...(smells like shit durhhhh)....

im not feeling pretty well 2day...maybe bcoz of some of da fucking reasons, ma mood went over...elsewhere...i dunno....so rite now, im trying to get maself understand dis engineering math well n better as b4 as i did not pay any of ma 'full' attention to da class...pity on me?get out of it...

thinkin of a thing..

2day, 120309...now is 1603..

i just woke up from dis short 'sleep' or nap...not feeling well, still searching 4 da reasons on y i get dis fever...'weird fever', as doctor claimed to me...guess wat, i didnt get shock, i just...'owh'...it's cool huh, when u get a weird fever..doctor said dat i was kinda fine, (i guess), i didnt catch any cold or sore throat, and im also dun get cough..(maybe, i did cough, ana made me). however, da doctor also said dat 'if u r still not recover in 3 days tyme, we'll meet again...im gonna take ur blood sample and we will do some test to see whether dat u mite be caught chikungunya'...(im not sure if i spelled it write)...im just at dat tyme..'mak aiyh'...again, i didnt get shock, i was jus amused..

but im sorry fella, i've cannot write well rite now cos im not feeling well..

write soon...

not a draft...take note of it...

u noe, 2day i can assumed as one of ma shitty day..maybe it was ma fault because i didnt enjoy it but fuck it..y shud i enjoy it? da reason on y i called 2day as ma bad day is everyone dat I NEED were not around.....even when i give her a call, she didnt even answer her phone...(i bet dat she has something more important to do rather than hearing ma problems)...owh...i hate it...


okeyh, 4 some kind of some-fuckin-reasons, i dun wanna talk much bout 2day...
yesterday, i had ma dynamics test..believe me, i can do it and i understand on wat am i doing...but da problem is i did wrong 4 da last question...suppose da work done by da force was negative (-) because of da displacement did by da force applied is opposite. but, i miscalculated it and i was happen to be mis-watch ( does dis word exist? ) it, thus leading me to answer dat question wrongly. pathetic me..plus, at dat tyme, i was pretty confident wif ma answers..darhh..again, poor me....who did it? i did it...

then, last nite after da test, we ( da committee of aero club ) had a meeting..shud i called it important?yeah it was IMPORTANT...but, only a few members did come and da rest were kinda busy wif their studies...such a faggot, id reckon...i do agree dat our main bussiness by entering dis university is study...but, if u held a THING on ur shoulder which is called RESPONSIBILITY, please be responsible 2 it...y on earth shud u volunteering urself by putting a weight, such a weight, and carrying it but do nothing bout it?..be responsible to it..u gotta a job 2 do..so please do....darhhh...i was kinda pissed off yesterday...i saw arin and syaf were struggling wif their studies... i saw them, sacrificing their nite on material science...however, they went to da meeting too....they do da job, did their job quite well...but, i've never heard them nagging at me bout their misery by doing dis whole aero thing...and 4 da boys, maybe krol and faisal deserved da 'future-credits'...i saw them, also, did their job pretty well....but da rest, i wont comment in dis blog...jus let bygone be bygone....



4 some kind of unknown reasons, i realize dat recently i cannot hold ma tears 4 too long...i do remember once, dat i made a promise 2 maself dat i wont cry...i will never cry, no matter how hard da circumtances dat i will face...however, i had oppose ma promise ( i shud make a vow next tyme )...yet i cried too much...wat had happened to me?..can someone give a solid answer according 2 ma problem? it's sorta hard 4 me to not to cry....when i said dat i wont cry, then suddenly da tears just rundown on ma face and guess wat 'IM CRYING'....da reasons are still yet to be found and im kinda hate it because i didnt noe y i cried....as like arin said, maybe theres something, beneath dis skin, lies a problem which i noe wat it was, but i refuse to admit it as da reason dat has making me cry...then, END OF DA STORY....

write soon....

p/s ;lyfe is getting much harder when u reach 19? who knew...HIM...

second chapter...

dis morning, i've already posted ma fes post..and now, im feeling like im going 2 post another post because i think i like to post rather than reading people's post...hehe...(i shudnt said dat)....

now, i am trying to penetrate maself into DYNAMICS...4 those who taking mechanical, im pretty sho dat u noe wat are dynamics...it is fun to learn though, but kinda hard 4 ME to cope wif its exercises...for example, i've already solved 4 ma fes question, and im sorta excited to see wat is the outcome, but believe me, it's HELL man, i've got wrong answer!!! (when i'd compare it wif ma frens)... then, when i got bored wif it, i went to take a nap...

durhh...AGAIN, i dreamt about kinematics particle!!along wif work and energy equation!!...i think dat dis DYNAMICS has put itself into me...i've been haunted by dynamics man...(can anyone pull me out from dis so-called haunted dynamics? if anyone can, i'll pay u some figure..)so i woke up from dis such a day-mare and continued wif another practice (dis tyme hope dat i can do it maself wifout refering 2 ana's)..but, we can avoid da fate dat has been fated 4 us...so, i still 'refered' to ana's and daaaaa, ma answers are same wif her then!

okeyh, stop talking bout dynamics..i still got more things to talk bout rather than dynamics...owh, b4 i forgot, i still havent introduce maself yet...(i pretty sho dat u wouldnt look into ma profile, wasting tyme meyh...i dont look into people's profile too...)

ma name is kim, it's just kim..but it's not ma real name..jus a cyber name....ma real name is far more beautiful than kim though, but i still wanna use kim as ma name in dis blog...im 19, jus climbed to 19 recently. but i like 2 act like im 20 or 21..maybe because when u reach 21 u can vote (i like voting)..but at da same tyme, i like to look young (?)(wat did i wrote?)...ok, enough of dat...currently, im taking mechanical in aeronautical engineering in local university in Malaysia (NEGARAKU)...degree..ma fes degree...still fes year..in second sem..im also half civilian and half army..im taking dis PALAPES in dis university...

hah, talking bout palapes, u noe wat at fes i didnt noe wat palapes really is or are...i jus fill da form and went 4 medical check up..i still didnt noe why i shud go 4 dis medical check up though...i went 4 its physical test and by da end of da day i noe dat whole those things which i had attend to is about army things...and suprise suprise...now im PEGAWAI KADET WANITA...7524295..dats is ma number...


ok...enough 4 now..now, i've got lot more important things 2 do...wat can i say..im busy darh...hehe

bye 4 now...i'll write soon..mite b 2nite..

ma fes post..take note of it...

since im still new in writing, so i do hope dat if u got some complains, suggestions or 'moral-down' supports, just tell me...i'd mean it..profusely need y'll help...

im not here to tell u some lame jokes, or im not here 2 tell y'll some 'story-never-told' by da oldfolks...but im here 2 share some a lifetyme moment dat i had which u never had..

4 me, ma lyfe was not too happy as im expected..well, just face it..im not rich, im not genius (plus, i did bad in ma fes sem, i'd repeat thermo), i've got no special talents, and i do not haf kinda 'feminim' looks...owh...poor me...

.....................................above..................................................
it is only da part which can i draw sympathy from da reader of dis i called journal...hehe
............................................................................................

fes chapter...I WANNABE A GIRL...

pathetic me...poor me....i am girl, i am XX. u noe it if u learn biology. but i still couldnt find ma real me sometimes. u noe, at times, i wonder why i cant find wat i need and wat i want. i cant see ma future at dis tyme. it still a blurred vision, which wat i'd saw. here, wat i mean by a girl it's not just 'a girl'. 4 me a girl here is a girl dat has her future in her hand. she knew wat she wants and she see her destiny. i wannabe dat girl. sometimes i do wonder why i chose to be an enggineer instead of being a doctor. ma spm trial was good enough 2 apply 4 dat. ma dad wanted me 2 be a doctor (sometimes he did argue bout it), i was wannabe a doctor. but now im in a path of being an aeronautical engineer.
da main problem is i am too lazy..damn it...there r satan in me whose draggin me to be his fren. i refused to, but i confess dat sometimes ma laziness has driving me badly.