why me?

haha....
i didnt get KP 4 next sem....im going to another college....im goin 2 K11....man, kinda far from fkm.....wat shud i do?

• buy a motorcycle? (need 2 learn 2 ride bicycle fes)
  
• buy a car? (hell!, no)
• wait 4 da bus? (like im suppose 2)
• get a ride wif ma fwen (aero boys will be in K11 next sem)
• pray 4 a gud things to happen....

those r solutions 4 ma problems....but shud i stick wif only one of it 4 da rest of dis 4 sems?gosh...i made maself thru dis...i will....

a new me...

aha....
i think i wanna write again...it feels like i am not me when i was not typing any single word dat i wanna to post here...what dat i wanna write here 2day is about ma new experience which i had encountered recently....
yeah, sounds pretty cool...however, it does not sounds as it was good for me...i was the only person at dat tyme who felt it and be burdened by it.....for me, it was really such a 'fight-n-flight' (i dunno wat words dat suit dis kinda circumtance) situation wherever i need to make a hard choice between ma bestie and da boy i like...
such a hard choice to make....but believe me, if i be given again da same choices, of coz, without any hesitation, i would chose ma bestie....as for me, frens, a really gud frens are really hard to find...dats wat i vowed to maself since i was a kid....i like befren n be wif ma fren....
it was all started wif me, i was not blaming maself though, it is just it...i think i started all these shit things....just rewind dis story back, if i was not let him thru me, all these sorrow fuckin thing wouldnt happenned to me....and i was so down at dat tyme....i was really feel bad with maself..i thought dat i was kinda invisible bcos they didnt let me know da thruth....and what hurt da most was i found out da thruth maself, which i'd expect any of both tell me....i was too afraid to cry because i thought dat it would hurt me deeply...but i failed to hold it and i cried.....but deep down inside, he does not deserve ma tears.....it is because, i was not meant for him...so y would i cry for a such a boy....i tried to fight all these feelings as well as to recover ma wounds....i thought dat it would be such a long healing, but then it comes dat i need only a day to recover it and i found out dat da day after those circumtance, i was entirely recovered...Alhamdullilah....i was blessed by His love and protection....i admit to maself dat it would be da last for me to cry for the thing dat i dun deserve and will be da last...and suprisingly, i could talk to her and him as close as before.....i wan them to be happy as they pray for their happiness...i love them both as they are ma true and ral frens....and i was proud of maself because i can handle dis problem like a woman...not as teenage gilr...haha...really proud of maself....

malay,.....

sdah lme ak cdg nk post dlm bm...tp cam xksampaian sbb ak cam nk speakin j...
hehe
test english sndiri...org len xnk testkn, so ak la test sndiri english ak.....wawawaaww....
dlm mnggu ney ak tlah wat byk perkare yg mmg nmpak cam sbuk...adeyh...mmg sbok pon....
tp important part yg ak nk highlight ney adelah,,
ak nyer enset msk lobang jmban owh!!!!
perasaan sdeyh bkn kepalang.....da la enset mhl..(xd la mhl sgt kalo iktkn, tp ak kn kdekut).....ps2 msk dlm lobang jmban...test da nk dkt...adeyh mmg cabaran.....bkn ak nk mrungut ngan naseb ak, ak jus nk luahkn j slps ak da puas luahkn kt membe2 ak melalui kate2 sbntar td....(mende 2 jd mlm td)....
kalo korang nk tw, enset 2 xd la smpai k tahap nyawa ak dimane 'tnpe enset, idopkah ak?'....tp ianye ckopla bermakna tok ak psl alarm enset 2 la yg mmg mngejutkn ak bgn subuh tiap2 pg...xd permulaan yg bek camne nk troskn idop dlm ari 2? ak ckp camney sbb ak percaye yg subuh yg bek adelah permulaan hari yg bek....jd, nk djadikn crite, psl enset 2 msk lobang jmban, ak xdpt bgn sbuh awl la pg td...cam bese, subuh gajah....0711...man, pity on maself....

selain enset ak msk jmban, smalm jgkla hari yg mnjadi saksi dimana ak blaja supaye jgn putus asa wlwpon ko da xnmpk chaye kt hujung jln (ney ayt sastera)....yesterday, i was completely down wif maself...as well as too keciwa wif maself...'i noe dat im not pretty gud in math, so y i didnt put any effort 2 improve dat?'....im askin maself...do i deserve dat????.....but then, i reminded maself dat i did put an effort to maself in eng math, but y i cannot answered da questions yesterday?do i need to blame maself?
somehow, yeah i shud....but, please shudnt....



xoxoluvmaselfxoxo

katy perry?

huh...it has been a long tyme dat i did not write anything on dis blog....thus 2day, i feel like i wanna write, so i feel it is better 4 me 2 write instead of waiting 4 another tyme 2 write...(smells like shit durhhhh)....

im not feeling pretty well 2day...maybe bcoz of some of da fucking reasons, ma mood went over...elsewhere...i dunno....so rite now, im trying to get maself understand dis engineering math well n better as b4 as i did not pay any of ma 'full' attention to da class...pity on me?get out of it...

thinkin of a thing..

2day, 120309...now is 1603..

i just woke up from dis short 'sleep' or nap...not feeling well, still searching 4 da reasons on y i get dis fever...'weird fever', as doctor claimed to me...guess wat, i didnt get shock, i just...'owh'...it's cool huh, when u get a weird fever..doctor said dat i was kinda fine, (i guess), i didnt catch any cold or sore throat, and im also dun get cough..(maybe, i did cough, ana made me). however, da doctor also said dat 'if u r still not recover in 3 days tyme, we'll meet again...im gonna take ur blood sample and we will do some test to see whether dat u mite be caught chikungunya'...(im not sure if i spelled it write)...im just at dat tyme..'mak aiyh'...again, i didnt get shock, i was jus amused..

but im sorry fella, i've cannot write well rite now cos im not feeling well..

write soon...

not a draft...take note of it...

u noe, 2day i can assumed as one of ma shitty day..maybe it was ma fault because i didnt enjoy it but fuck it..y shud i enjoy it? da reason on y i called 2day as ma bad day is everyone dat I NEED were not around.....even when i give her a call, she didnt even answer her phone...(i bet dat she has something more important to do rather than hearing ma problems)...owh...i hate it...


okeyh, 4 some kind of some-fuckin-reasons, i dun wanna talk much bout 2day...
yesterday, i had ma dynamics test..believe me, i can do it and i understand on wat am i doing...but da problem is i did wrong 4 da last question...suppose da work done by da force was negative (-) because of da displacement did by da force applied is opposite. but, i miscalculated it and i was happen to be mis-watch ( does dis word exist? ) it, thus leading me to answer dat question wrongly. pathetic me..plus, at dat tyme, i was pretty confident wif ma answers..darhh..again, poor me....who did it? i did it...

then, last nite after da test, we ( da committee of aero club ) had a meeting..shud i called it important?yeah it was IMPORTANT...but, only a few members did come and da rest were kinda busy wif their studies...such a faggot, id reckon...i do agree dat our main bussiness by entering dis university is study...but, if u held a THING on ur shoulder which is called RESPONSIBILITY, please be responsible 2 it...y on earth shud u volunteering urself by putting a weight, such a weight, and carrying it but do nothing bout it?..be responsible to it..u gotta a job 2 do..so please do....darhhh...i was kinda pissed off yesterday...i saw arin and syaf were struggling wif their studies... i saw them, sacrificing their nite on material science...however, they went to da meeting too....they do da job, did their job quite well...but, i've never heard them nagging at me bout their misery by doing dis whole aero thing...and 4 da boys, maybe krol and faisal deserved da 'future-credits'...i saw them, also, did their job pretty well....but da rest, i wont comment in dis blog...jus let bygone be bygone....



4 some kind of unknown reasons, i realize dat recently i cannot hold ma tears 4 too long...i do remember once, dat i made a promise 2 maself dat i wont cry...i will never cry, no matter how hard da circumtances dat i will face...however, i had oppose ma promise ( i shud make a vow next tyme )...yet i cried too much...wat had happened to me?..can someone give a solid answer according 2 ma problem? it's sorta hard 4 me to not to cry....when i said dat i wont cry, then suddenly da tears just rundown on ma face and guess wat 'IM CRYING'....da reasons are still yet to be found and im kinda hate it because i didnt noe y i cried....as like arin said, maybe theres something, beneath dis skin, lies a problem which i noe wat it was, but i refuse to admit it as da reason dat has making me cry...then, END OF DA STORY....

write soon....

p/s ;lyfe is getting much harder when u reach 19? who knew...HIM...

second chapter...

dis morning, i've already posted ma fes post..and now, im feeling like im going 2 post another post because i think i like to post rather than reading people's post...hehe...(i shudnt said dat)....

now, i am trying to penetrate maself into DYNAMICS...4 those who taking mechanical, im pretty sho dat u noe wat are dynamics...it is fun to learn though, but kinda hard 4 ME to cope wif its exercises...for example, i've already solved 4 ma fes question, and im sorta excited to see wat is the outcome, but believe me, it's HELL man, i've got wrong answer!!! (when i'd compare it wif ma frens)... then, when i got bored wif it, i went to take a nap...

durhh...AGAIN, i dreamt about kinematics particle!!along wif work and energy equation!!...i think dat dis DYNAMICS has put itself into me...i've been haunted by dynamics man...(can anyone pull me out from dis so-called haunted dynamics? if anyone can, i'll pay u some figure..)so i woke up from dis such a day-mare and continued wif another practice (dis tyme hope dat i can do it maself wifout refering 2 ana's)..but, we can avoid da fate dat has been fated 4 us...so, i still 'refered' to ana's and daaaaa, ma answers are same wif her then!

okeyh, stop talking bout dynamics..i still got more things to talk bout rather than dynamics...owh, b4 i forgot, i still havent introduce maself yet...(i pretty sho dat u wouldnt look into ma profile, wasting tyme meyh...i dont look into people's profile too...)

ma name is kim, it's just kim..but it's not ma real name..jus a cyber name....ma real name is far more beautiful than kim though, but i still wanna use kim as ma name in dis blog...im 19, jus climbed to 19 recently. but i like 2 act like im 20 or 21..maybe because when u reach 21 u can vote (i like voting)..but at da same tyme, i like to look young (?)(wat did i wrote?)...ok, enough of dat...currently, im taking mechanical in aeronautical engineering in local university in Malaysia (NEGARAKU)...degree..ma fes degree...still fes year..in second sem..im also half civilian and half army..im taking dis PALAPES in dis university...

hah, talking bout palapes, u noe wat at fes i didnt noe wat palapes really is or are...i jus fill da form and went 4 medical check up..i still didnt noe why i shud go 4 dis medical check up though...i went 4 its physical test and by da end of da day i noe dat whole those things which i had attend to is about army things...and suprise suprise...now im PEGAWAI KADET WANITA...7524295..dats is ma number...


ok...enough 4 now..now, i've got lot more important things 2 do...wat can i say..im busy darh...hehe

bye 4 now...i'll write soon..mite b 2nite..

ma fes post..take note of it...

since im still new in writing, so i do hope dat if u got some complains, suggestions or 'moral-down' supports, just tell me...i'd mean it..profusely need y'll help...

im not here to tell u some lame jokes, or im not here 2 tell y'll some 'story-never-told' by da oldfolks...but im here 2 share some a lifetyme moment dat i had which u never had..

4 me, ma lyfe was not too happy as im expected..well, just face it..im not rich, im not genius (plus, i did bad in ma fes sem, i'd repeat thermo), i've got no special talents, and i do not haf kinda 'feminim' looks...owh...poor me...

.....................................above..................................................
it is only da part which can i draw sympathy from da reader of dis i called journal...hehe
............................................................................................

fes chapter...I WANNABE A GIRL...

pathetic me...poor me....i am girl, i am XX. u noe it if u learn biology. but i still couldnt find ma real me sometimes. u noe, at times, i wonder why i cant find wat i need and wat i want. i cant see ma future at dis tyme. it still a blurred vision, which wat i'd saw. here, wat i mean by a girl it's not just 'a girl'. 4 me a girl here is a girl dat has her future in her hand. she knew wat she wants and she see her destiny. i wannabe dat girl. sometimes i do wonder why i chose to be an enggineer instead of being a doctor. ma spm trial was good enough 2 apply 4 dat. ma dad wanted me 2 be a doctor (sometimes he did argue bout it), i was wannabe a doctor. but now im in a path of being an aeronautical engineer.
da main problem is i am too lazy..damn it...there r satan in me whose draggin me to be his fren. i refused to, but i confess dat sometimes ma laziness has driving me badly.